Good morning, good afternoon friends, how are you? I hope your week was great! Today I’m going to talk about writing…or well, not really writing. Camp NaNoWriMo started 17 days ago. Are you participating? Are you LOSING YOUR MIND YET? Because I am. So…let’s recap on 17 days of #amnotediting craziness.
There’s something I realized, right in the first days of Camp NaNoWriMo : writing a book is a LOT of fun. It’s exhausting, it takes so much time, you feel like your brain is exploding and your fingers can’t do anything other than typing like crazy on your keyboard. But it is A LOT of fun. Because you’re taking ideas as they come, you’re making everything your own way, you’re writing, writing, writing. If you decided to write your own story for Camp NaNo, I hope you’re experimenting this crazy, overjoyed feeling of making a story come true under your fingertips.
Editing. Editing is NO FUN AT ALL. It makes me cringe every second I think about it, it’s like offering me brussel sprouts on a silver platter. NO THANK YOU. I committed to edit my NaNoWriMo story from November 2015. 62 528 glorious words coming right out of my brains (Don’t ask, I have NO idea how I did this.). But where do you start where all you can do is stare at your WIP and wonder HOW you did that, and HOW you’re going to go from there? Should I rewrite the whole damn thing? But then, HOW do I know if I’m making it better, or just DAMN WORSE and ruining everything? Where do I begin, where do I end? This has been the story of my life for the past 17 days. Staring and wondering. Losing my mind about it.
I was prepared. I was EXCITED to start. I even re-read my whole WIP beforehand, and I thought to myself “oh, okay, well there are plot holes and things that need to be fixed, but it’s not that bad“. I can’t believe I actually thought that, because right now, the more I look at it, the more I think that it’s getting bad, and bad, and UGH why. Then, I thought to myself, the key of this, is ORGANIZATION. I took my damn 62 K of words, and divided it by scenes. I took some notes about scenes that need to move, some that I might eventually have to delete. Then, I stared again for another two days. Took my outline from last November. Did some more starting. I STARE A LOT AT MY COMPUTER BECAUSE CONFUSION.
So right now, I don’t know anymore. If I should rewrite the whole thing, let it rest again for another year or two, forget it because never mind, it’s just a book. Or if I should try harder. Rewrite. Take this thing down, break it in a billion pieces. Write it in English, write it in French, put it on Wattpad, ask you guys if I’m going crazy (because I must be, right?) Is it good, is it bad? I do not know. How do you know when something’s worth pursuing, or when you should just give up? I’m starting to become philosophical here, so I might as well just stop here. And get back to that blank void, hoping that somewhere, someday, I will know where to start and where to end that story I want to tell.