I’m going to be completely honest with you here: I tend to play the comparison game way, way too often. In the book blogging community, we are thousand and thousands of people screaming about books. In the bookish community overall, including people only on twitter, on bookstagram, for instance, we might be twice, third times more. The community always grows and this happens to any other kind of online community. We are a lot.
This means that there’s a lot of people that we can compare ourselves to.
Right in the middle of a blog-hopping session, stumbling upon a blog with an absolutely stunning design and layout, you can feel it. Scrolling endlessly on twitter and admiring someone always speaking out, with the guts to lay out the things you’ve been feeling, but are too shy to say out loud, you can feel it. Spending time on bookstagram and finding these perfect, flawless, minimalistic or colored, cluttered feeds and you can feel it, slowly creeping in, that feeling.
Yes, I’m going to say it, that jealousy. My blog isn’t as good-looking as this one, my twitter is too quiet, my bookstagram isn’t as well put together as this one. The list goes on and on and, when you start, the comparison never, ever stops. It’s even more terrible if you’re anything like me, anxious as heck about everything and anything, a tiny little thing might just make you want to scream and feel worthless compared to others.
I’m not immune to the jealousy, to these feelings creeping in every now and then and, you know what? It’s okay. It’s human and it’s okay to feel this way, too. Yet, at times, the feeling can get overwhelming, can send us into a blogging slump, can make us want to quit it all together and make us lose faith in our work, too. Truth is, this has happened to me. Countless times. Yet, there are some advice I’m trying to remind myself of and, today, I thought I’d share it.
How to stop comparing yourself to other book bloggers
? Statistics are not your whole truth: they do not make you.
Ugh, statistics. Numbers. I shiver just thinking about them, yet I can’t stop checking them, either. It’s terrible, the relationship we can have with blogging statistics. You know what? I’m just going to say it.
There’s always going to be someone with more numbers than you. More followers, more views, someone that receives more ARCs, someone that seems to get all the opportunities in the world. It’s hard then, isn’t it? To feel that thing creeping in, that jealousy, that thing that tells us that, yes, we’re not good enough because we’re not like them. Yet. Are we really on the same journey as they are?
Some bloggers are able to post three times a day and spend a long time promoting their posts, too. Some bloggers live in the United States and therefore get more opportunities than me, because I live across the Atlantic and teleportation isn’t a thing and money doesn’t grow on trees and geography sometimes just is the WORST okay.
We’re not like that. We do everything we can given our own journey, our own path. I’m working full-time, all week long. You might be in school, in college, working full-time or something else. We can’t all do it all. Obviously, this makes our statistics different. This makes our journeys different. This makes the way we blog different and, for that… well, we can’t really compare ourselves to others when we’re not on the same path.
☂️ Related blog post: the truth about book blogging statistics.
? Focus on yourself, your blog, your work, your voice. YOU.
This feels very self-centered and selfish, but this blog, this bookish space you’ve created is all yours, so you are allowed to be completely selfish. Whether you’ve been working on your blog for a couple days, three months, six years, it’s your journey and no one else’s.
You can also blog like no one else is in the community. We might be thousands, but only you can write about this book the way you do, only you can write blog posts the way you do, only you can have your blog like this or like that. There might be the same design template, the same book reviewed, the same kind of discussions coming around every now and then (because originality is complicated, yes). Yet, you blog like no one else, because you’re YOU and you’re unique. You have your own voice and your own passion.
I know how complicated it is to find your own blogging voice. I know how complicated it is to tell yourself to just get up and write, when it feels like everyone else has already done the same thing. They haven’t. You have your own way of spinning things and of writing them and believe me, no one does it like you do. Okay, but how can you actually feel that you’re unique?
- Make a list of what you like about your blog (or bookstagram, book twitter, bookish platform). This can be the type of blog post you like, some particular pictures, a feature you imagined, the way you review, your design, your blog template, some pages. It can be anything, small or big. Take this as a starting point.
- Go through your old blog posts (and do NOT cringe. I know. It’s so hard not to.). This works whether you’ve been blogging for weeks, months or years, because no matter what, blog post after blog post, you grow and slowly but surely, you’re finding the way you like to write, the way you like to blog. Read your posts. You’ll notice.
- Just stare at your blog for a couple minutes or hours until your eyes hurt and be proud because even if you’re not self-hosted and a coding god of some kind and are using a free theme, this is your blog and YOU DID THIS AND THIS IS YOURS BE PROUD.
? Beat comparison : inspire yourself to grow
Important reminder not to copy other blogger’s work, but get inspired. I’m going to link to Cait’s fabulous blog post on the topic about inspiring vs. copying, in case you are uncertain.
There are so many book bloggers out there and, if you’re trying to spin this in a positive way, you can get so many inspiration from their incredible work and grow yourself, too. I got inspired by Kat’s incredible series about branding and it made me want to brand my entire blog way better, which I did at the beginning of the month. I got inspired many, many times by Top Ten Tuesday’s prompts to write my own types of listicle blog posts and discovered that I actually love and love doing that a lot. I got so inspired by so many people, really.
There is so much inspiration to take from book bloggers you admire. I know I admire a whole damn lot of them all and, even if my anxious, vicious mind is always trying to tell me I’m no good compared to them, I’m trying to spin it all around and get inspired from them to grow as a blogger, instead.
I know that I will never, ever stop being critical of myself and my blog. I know that, deep down, even if I’m sharing this advice and reminding myself of it all as much as I can, I will still compare myself, my work, my blog, to others. It’s human and it’s okay, but I’m trying to spin it all around. Stay positive about it all and remind myself that, there are many blogs out there, but there is only one drizzle & hurricane books.
How do you deal with comparison overall? Are you feeling that frustration and jealousy every now and then, too? What do you struggle with the most?
How do you deal with it? Any tips and tricks to share? I’d love to hear from you in comments!
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I think it’s so hard not to cringe at old posts. I keep some them to remind me how far I’ve come, but now I think I just might delete quite a bit of them.
I get that so much, I’m having a hard time NOT cringing at them ahah, but… I could never bring myself to delete them, somehow they’re part of my blog’s journey ahha 🙂
Thank you so much for your comment! <3
Your welcome! Love reading your posts!
Aww thank you so much, this means so much <3
Thank you so much Marie ?? This is exactly what I need to hear right now. Sending you love ????
Aww this makes me so happy, thank YOU, Hana <3 <3
This is so relatable!
I haven’t been blogging for too long, and sometimes I can’t help but feel inadequate to the other more experienced bloggers out there. But I am proud of the progress I’ve made, and I am happy that I haven’t given up. I don’t plan to either.
I admire your courage to come out and talk about this. It sometime makes me anxious to think of admitting my insecurities out loud.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, Nisha, I’m so happy you could relate to this! <3
To be honest, writing these insecurities and putting them out there is never easy but, getting a comment just like yours is what makes it all worth it, and seeing people can relate <3 I am proud of the progress you've made too and yay for not giving up! I hope you'll keep on going and will keep on loving what you do <3
Thank you so much! It feels so good to hear that. I’ve been working hard to create the best content I possibly can and it great to hear that it’s paying off. ?
I really do love blogging and I’m learning to love this community more and more each day.
Bloggers like you make me feel right at home within this community.?
Aw this makes me so, so happy to hear, really and I’m so glad you’re enjoying yourself, that’s the most important! <3 <3
Thank you so much for your words! I’m very new to book blogging and it’s overwhelming at first but sometimes reading inspiring posts like these from fellow book bloggers are a really great boost. I’m reminded that all of us just want to create our own little space for our love of books. ?
Ohh welcome to book blogging, I hope you’re having a lot of fun so far! 😀
I’m so, so happy that you enjoyed this post and yes, we’re all here to create our own bookish space after all 😀
Thank you! <3 <3
Great Advise 🙂 Thanks
Thank you so much for reading! 🙂
Oh my goodness Marie! I needed this post so much! Recently I have been feeling like my blog is just trash and i am always comparing it to other people and worrying constantly about it. And i try to make my blog a niche but i just feel oh so jumbled up and unsure of everything. Every time i look at my blog i just feel like its not as good as others. That my posts are crappy.
Sometimes i write a post and i feel so proud, then i read everyone elses posts and feel like my was like crap.
I am sorry for ranting! Thank you so much for making this post⭐? it really helped me! You are an amazing blogger!
I’m so, so, so happy to hear this post could help you! <3 I think it's so, so important to keep that feeling we get, at one moment or another, when we get an idea or write a post and feel… proud. It's important to hold on to that moment where we're actually satisfied of it all and try to keep it a little while longer. We should be proud, we create blog posts out of ideas in our minds after all and YOU are doing fantastic, you're unique and you and no one can blog like you do and with your awesomeness <3
thank you so much for your sweet comment and please don't apologize for ranting, always here if you need to! 🙂
Thank you so much!?⭐?
My pleasure!! <3
I know exactly what you mean.
I think all of us at some point feel this way, some more intensely than others, but at the end of the day as long as we enjoy what we are doing, sharing our passion with others, we shouldn’t worry too much about if we are good enough. Because our thoughts, feelings and opinions are just as valid as those of other bloggers. And our content can resonate with other readers.
Even if it is just one reader ?
YES???????
Honestly, I feel that frustration almost every day (especially looking at your blog, but shhhhh). I think mine comes down mostly to design. I’m not a genius on that, I try to do my best with Canva, but I really want to go self-hosted and get a revamp on my branding, which I feel is all over the place.
However, I know that I’m doing my best. I know I am improving and comparing my reviews and posts to 3 months ago is astonishing. So I’ll get there. I’ll take my time, but I will.
What ? you’re way too sweet Catarina, thank you so much ah ? to be honest, I’m far from being a genius at designing and branding and I am so, so thankful for my sister @nyxcorner and for Kat who did so much of my graphics, both have made this blog a little more, branded lately and I’m so thankful for that. Canva allows you to do amazing things though and if you’re looking to rebrand a little bit, I’m certain you’ll do amazing things, too. These things take a little while to come together, but it’s so satisfying when they do. There’s always room to improve things, but it’s also so important to remind ourselves of where we started and how we’ve improved already, too 🙂
Your blog is amazing, Catarina and I always love reading your content <3 <3
Thank you so much for your words ?
Always, you are amazing Catarina! <3
This is exactly what I’ve been needing to hear! I was putting off so many things I wanted to do because I was comparing myself to other book bloggers/content creators. I finally put things in to motion thanks to so many wonderful and encouraging people, but I still think to “will it be good enough.”
I think we really are our own worst critics, at least I know I am hahaha. Even if we could always think of new things to improve, to be better, we’re already improving every day, little by little 🙂
I’m so happy that you have been putting things in motion and I hope this will give you motivation and confidence, too! You’re doing amazing 🙂
Thank you so much for your sweet comment! <3
Thank you so much for being a positive influence and saying the words I think everyone needs to hear! <3
Aww, you’re going to make me cry you’re way too sweet, thank you!! <3 <3
Such a wonderful post 🙂 Also, this gif of Hitchcock and Scully totally warmed my heart hehe… Keep up the good work!
Aww thank you so much Clem!! <3 I love them ahah 🙂
I love this post so much, especially because I always get pissed off when people say “don’t compare yourself to others” like it’s so easy to do. In reality, it’s not because everyone has something that someone else wants. One instance for me was when I was proud of my recent follower growth, but then I looked at the number of people who actually liked my posts and they were startlingly few. I just think that we should always remind ourselves that we will never have everything we want, and this post was a big, giant reminder, so thank you ♥️♥️♥️ I agree with all of your advice, and I honestly have nothing to add. I love the gifs from tv shoes you used too!!
Agree! It’s not so easy to shut that little voice in our heads and to stop comparing ourselves to others. It’s only human to do that, but it’s so important to remember that we are all different and have different journeys, too <3
Thank you so, SO much for your sweet comment! <3 <3
I’m definitely guilty of being jealous of other bloggers, or comparing my blog to theirs, but for the most part, I try to remind myself that I’m doing what I love. Yes, I want to grow and change, but I don’t want to stress too much about it! Great post. 🙂
-Lauren
http://www.shootingstarsmag.net
That’s the right mindset, yay! You’re doing amazing Lauren, thank you for the reminder. You’re so right, we do what we love and that’s what maters the most <3
Thank you so much!! <3
Ahh.. this was a lovely post Marie!! ? and I can definitely relate to comparing myself to others. I just do it and it’s horrible. So I love your list of how to stop it– it is very inspiring. Because you’re right there is only one version of you and your blog and it has a whole bunch of its own strength that make it what it is!! I think it is important to be proud of your blog even if it can feel hard some days. And I try to celebrate the little achievements too– to remind myself that I am making progress. If I am feeling down I focus on what I enjoy like how the book blogging community engages and how excited they are about books. And I love writing posts.
I love that you said you should use other blogs to inspire because that’s wonderful and you can definitely learn things from others and enjoy their creative content!!
Wonderful post!! ?
Oh thank you so, so, so much, I’m so happy this could inspire you! It’s so important to remind ourselves of the little achievements and celebrate all the small and big accomplishments, too <3 We're all making progress and we're loving what we do, that's what matters the most 😀
Thank you so much!! <3
I LOVE THIS POST AND I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH <3 You always seem to know what others are thinking and how to write the perfect discussion post to address it!! Also, can I just say that the GIF usage is very spot on??
I really like how you framed it as it's natural to be jealous of others and we really can't help but look at stats and think about the areas where we're lacking BUT we can also use that as a way to inspire ourselves to grow! I definitely also get caught up looking at numbers and wishing I could write as good as someone, be as thoughtful with their words as someone else, and on and on. There are so many great people that I can't help but compare.
At the same time, it's really important to remember that we are individually unique and all bring something special. 🙂
Ahhh thank you Tiffany, you’re so sweet, this means so, SO much ❤ ❤ Agree. It’s way too easy to compare ourselves to others and, in a way, it’s natural to do so just as well. We just need to remind ourselves that we’re unique and no one blogs the way we do and we all bring something new to blogging, too 🙂
Thank you!! ❤ ❤ ❤
When I first started out blogging it was so easy to compare my blog to other blogs and find it lacking. Mainly in terms of stats but also in terms of what ARCs I got. I feel like it’s something we all do at the very beginning but slowly I think I realised what was important to me as a blogger and it isn’t have thousands of followers or getting ARCs (though I am really thankful for both those things) but enjoying what I’m doing.
I love the advice you included in this post Marie. I mean I’ve never gone back to my old posts but I am definitely aware how much I’ve improved over the years, I mean just comparing my blog design from back then to what it is now is proof enough of that! 😀
Great post. 🙂 ❤️
I agree, I feel like as we grow as bloggers, we learn to live with the comparison and, somehow, kind of find peace in where we are and look at our own growth, in the past and now, instead of ourselves versus others. At least that’s what I trying to do more and more 🙂
Thank you so much, Beth! <3 <3
I wouldn’t completely call myself a book blogger, but I definitely do compare my bookish/story loving platform to others’. I stopped comparing my writing by accepting that everyone’s writing process is different and everyone’s voice is different (like you said!) — and if only I could apply that to everything else. Comparison is tough. I do love your blog though, and I hope you keep doing what you’re doing!! ? Just keep being your awesome self. 🙂
I feel the same way about writing – well, I used to compare my writing and my WIP journey to others, too and I was just so frustrated at being so. slow. I still am haha, but you’re right, whether it’s about blogging or writing, we all have our own journey 🙂
Thank you so, so, so much for your sweet words, Madeline <3 <3
Oh this is such great advice, I always find myself just using statistics to judge my worth 😛
You’re so welcome, thank YOU for your sweet comment, I’m so happy this could help! We are so much more than our stats 😀
I am the worst for comparing myself to others and getting down on myself! I really appreciate this post, its so helpful! ?
Oh thank you,I’m so happy this can be useful <3 <3
Thank you so much for this post! I’m currently satisfied with my blogging progress but sometimes I do get jealous while comparing myself with other bloggers because you can’t help it, It’s a human thing! XD
Exactly! If only we could get rid of these feelings haha, but I guess it’s only human and we can learn to live with them 🙂
Thank you so much Raven!! <3
This is a very interesting discussion post! I do get jealous from time to time but then I look at my blog an dthink that for a working mom of nearly fifty without any blogging experience I do relatively good! I have a very busy life and can’t blog all day so I do the best that I can. And I also remember that having fun is the most important thing! I am quite proud of what I accomplished not being born in this technological world and without any prior knowledge to the blogging world.
Oh thank you so much! I think you’re doing AMAZING, blogging so well and so often and being so active overall, with life and children and working on the side, you’re a superhero, really! <3 <3
Thank you so much for your sweet comment <3
I definitely feel like I can relate to this post. Especially when I look at other book bloggers and I see they have a lot of followers and comments on their posts. It makes me wonder what I could be doing wrong or what I could do to improve. But I also find myself inspired by them too to keep on writing or if they’re reading a book I might enjoy, I’ll consider reading it and if I do, I’ll post a link to their blog post if I feel like it helped inspire me to read that book. That way the person knows I check out their blog and that they’ve inspired me in some way.
Sharing other bloggers’ posts and how they inspired you is honestly one of the best thing you can do – well, in my opinion. I always love it and feel so happy and grateful whenever someone shares one of my posts <3
All of our journeys are different, what we need to remember always is that we're doing this for ourselves and that we're loving what we do <3 <3
Thank you so, so much for your sweet comment! <3
Oh my gosh this post is so fantastic. Thank you for writing it!
Ahh you’re too sweet thank you so, so much, this means so much <3 <3
Since my blog isn’t exclusively a “book blog” — it’s a fine-and-lively-arts blog with an emphasis on classical music, with theatre, film, and books coming along for the ride — I don’t get too wrapped up in comparing it with anyone else’s blog. My “book reviews” are less like formal reviews and more like riffing on the book and its general topic — say, halfway between the Sunday NY Times and the NY Review of Books. But I can see how one could get distracted that way!
Agree, and I think in any blogging niche, really, it’s easy to get distracted and get into the comparison game. It’s important to get out of it, too 🙂
Thank you for your comment!
This is an INCREDIBLE post. I think we should all always try to overcome ourselves trying to be better than we were yesterday. Always supporting and helping others is also important ????✨
Ahhh Sofi you’re too sweet thank you so much! Agree, we should only compete with ourselves and always support each other <3 <3
Marie, this post is phenomenal! <3 I love it SO much, and I love you for writing it. I need to read it and I know so many other people did, too.
I love what you say about how you can't compare yourself to someone who is on a completely different journey than you- it's so true, and I honestly have never considered that until now. Like you said, comparison is normal because we're human- but I love that this post inspired me to never forget that my blog is mine, and each and every person has their own individual style and a blog that is their own.
Also- it's crazy, I know, but that Harry gif at the beginning made me emotional because baby Harry! ?Again, wonderful post, my friend.
Oh Olivia thank you so much, I’m so happy you enjoyed it <3
It's so easy to compare ourselves to others, but when we think about it, we're all different and have different lives outside of the blog, too, so… we blog differently 🙂
I know right, baby Harry, ahh this makes me so emotional too!!
Thank you so much for your sweet comment! <3 <3
Such a needed reminder :] Thank you for posting!
Thank you so much for reading, so glad you enjoyed it <3
Definitely feel this post on so many levels (but particularly for aesthetics; nothing makes me compare myself and my blog more than when someone can make wonderful graphics and have a blog that is completely put together). But your advice is very sound and I think you for sharing it!
(Also, for what it’s worth, your blog is one of my favorites that I’ve discovered and I’m so appreciative of you. <3)
Oh same same same, I’m not really good at coding and designing and I’m always admiring people with absolutely stunning design and talent!
Awww, Nicole, thank you so much, you’re way too sweet, this honestly means the world that you think that, thank you <3 <3 <3
It blows my mind! And I always tell myself I’m going to learn it so I can start being that epic, but it hasn’t happened yet (though, honestly, your blog is one of those that I think of when I think of the level of aesthetics I want to get to, one day!)
Of course! <3 <3
Ahh Nicole you’re going to make me cry ? you’re too sweet <3 and you're already epic and I'm certain you'll get where you want to be in your own time and you'll get that epic feeling, you deserve to have it <3
Aww, thank you, Marie! That is way to sweet of you to say! <3 <3 <3
This is such a great and suuuper relatable post! I definitely get jealous of other bloggers so much. I also have focused a lot more on quality over quantity this year, and ever since then, my stats have dropped since I’m not posting as much, but also my posts are definitely better than they used to be, and it can get so disheartening when I see other bloggers and wonder howww do you have such beautiful posts with such high engagementttttt. But at the end of the day I know I’m more proud of what I’m writing now than before, so I try to keep that in mind <3
Oh thank you so much, so happy you liked the post! <3 I'm so glad that you're proud of what you're writing at the moment and focusing on producing content you enjoy, this is so important <3 <3
Great post! I often find that I’m comparing myself to other bloggers. This is a good reminder to be proud of what I write and to keep growing! 🙂
Thank you so much, so happy this could be helpful!! <3 <3
I absolutely agree. I’m such an anxious individual and usually that jealously is a little mild and kind of accepting but sometimes it can get downright fruatrating and depressing. I do keep all these points in mind and especially chant the statistics one like a mantra but that doesn’t always work. I guess over time it will be better? Nice post ?
It’s definitely getting better with time, but we all need these little reminders every now and then, I know I do way too often <3 You're doing amazing, Charvi, always remember that <3
Thank you so much, Marie ??
I really like this post and completely agree with how I’m al2ays going to remain critical of my progress. I’m usually an anxious stressball and sometimes the jealousy is low-key and kind of passes away but other times it can also be downright fruatrating and depressing and I keep trying the statistics thing like a mantra. I feel over time as a I grown as a person and as a blogger I’ll be able to handle it better 🙂
I think your comment went through twice ahah but thank you for your words and sharing your thoughts, Charvi! <3 <3 and yes these things take time, but YOU ARE A GREAT BLOGGER and I love everything you do, keep on going <3 <3
Aww you’re the the sweetest for replying twice!! ??
Of course! <3 <3
‘Focus on yourself, your blog, your work, your voice. YOU.’ YES YES YES AND YES!
Recently, I’ve been looking at other people’s beautiful layouts and blog aesthetics and I’ve felt bad about mine!
Fabulous post, lovely! xxx
Ahh my sweechie you shouldn’t, your blog looks and is as incredible as you are <3 <3 always here to send you tons of love and support and boost you, you're doing amazing work <3
<3 Love you!!!
Love you EVEN MORE! <3
I absolutely love it whenever you share these types of posts with us because they’re real and 100% relateable!
I’m definitely someone who compares herself to other bloggers way too much but I’ve been trying to turn that into motivation to do better. Like, if I see a design I really love I try to look at why I love it and apply that to my own blog too. I love a branded blog and Kat (I’m assuming you’re talking the blogger who has the waffle & books theme) does it so freaking well – you definitely are going to remember her blog! And I love that you’ve got a brand running too!
What I’ll probably struggle most with is opportunities some bloggers might get either because of their connections (that they’ve put a ton of work into getting) or simply their location. But we’re all in different stages of our blogging journey and it makes sense that someone would get more chances than me depending on a number of reasons. I keep trying to remind myself of that. 🙂
Honestly, I feel like the best way to deal with comparison and/or the jealousy that comes from it is to channel it into motivation for yourself to do better. I recently saw Melanie from meltotheany share how she writes her reviews and just how she reads/tabs book to help write her reviews which definitely motivates me to work on how I write mine because I definitely need to work out a system that works better for me.
Oh oh Swetlana thank you so, so much, it makes me the happiest to see you enjoy and can relate to these posts, they’re so… stressful to write somehow and to put my feelings out there ahah. <3
I'm so glad to hear that! So many bloggers have been such inspirations, yes, Kat from the Novel&Waffles blog has been such an inspiration and a help, too, in rebranding a little bit recently and I'm so happy with it.
Agree, we're all in different stages, but sometimes we can't help feeling jealous. It's not our fault though, there are so many different reasons we ignore and things at stake, whether it's geography or things we don't have much control over, allowing others to get opportunities we dream of. I'm trying to remind myself of the little control we have over these things and just to keep on working and, hopefully someday it will be us <3
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, Swetlana, you're the sweetest always <3 <3
I think it’s fair to say that almost all of us experience some jealousy towards other bloggers – I know I do – and it’s especially hard when the book blogging community is full of wonderful, creative people. I know that your blog has always been a huge inspiration to lots of other people, myself included, and lots of us look up to you and your amazing blog! Also, while we’re on the topic I am loving your new graphics so much <3
I’m ? Avery, you are honestly way, way too sweet, your words make me cry, you’r etoo sweet ? I’m so happy you like the new graphics, thank you so, so much! ? <3
I think we all experience these kind of feelings, yet it's so important to recognize that it's human and we can fight it, too <3
Thank you, you honestly made my entire week <3
I related so much to this! It’s so hard not to compare your blog to others and feel insecure, but you’re totally right in saying that you’re the only one who can blog as you do. You’re the only one who’s going to have your exact thoughts about a book etc., so there’s room for everyone!
And I like your way of turning the negative feeling of jealousy around and being inspired by other bloggers instead. That’s such a positive way of looking at it. Amazing post! 🙂
Oh thank you so, so much Laura, I’m so happy to hear you liked this post and I hope you’ll keep on being inspired by everyone <3 <3 Thank you!! <3 <3
I generally react to finding a new, pretty blog in one of two ways. Either I’m super impressed and decide that we need to revamp our blog as well, which is why there have been so many changes to our blog. Or I marvel at the blogger and how they manage to make everything so nice, and pretty, and manage to post almost daily, and comment on everyone’s post always. It makes me exhausted just thinking of the work it would take to be like them.
And of course, stats are my weakness. It does help that I can sometimes remind myself that we’re a new blog and that this is a hobby that is many times overshadowed by school. It sometimes takes the pressure away, but not always. External validation is always nice even though it shouldn’t be so tied in to my enjoyment of blogging.
Great post!
I can relate to your feelings a whole lot and, even if I remind myself that this is a hobby, sometimes we can’t help but crave for more validation. It’s always nice to have it, but it’s so important to have our own validation matter always more <3
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, Malka! <3
You’re SO awesome Marie! I do feel that a lot when I feel some people don’t have to work for anything and get placed on pedestals where the rest of us that are genuine are ignored. But I just try and step away from that and take a break from anything if needed. I have just liked how seeing how other people read and talk about reading and I just try to post what I like to talk about and go from there. Amazing post as always 🙂
Aww, thank you, you’re too sweet!! ? I agree with you, it’s important to step away and take small or big breaks or both to reevaluate everything and most importantly, to keep on focusing on ourselves and what we love <3
Yep and especially being happy with our content and our voices 🙂
Exactly! 😀
I think that when I was a new blogger I definitely found myself comparing my blog to others a lot. At this stage in the game, I think that I have found my niche and just do my own thing. I do love finding other blogs that have interesting posts and layouts, such as yours. I really enjoy the inspiration that I get from others. Lovely post! 🙂
I’m so happy you’re at that stage where you are content with everything, it’s really the best place to be <3
Thank you so much for your comment! <3
Oh, this is such an incredible post Marie! I only just started compared to so many other bloggers here, so I try not to compare myself *too* much to other bloggers, but it can be so hard! Your blog is SO incredible though, and even though I know those feelings of insecurity will not always go away, I just want to tell you again what an inspiration you are and you’re worth SO MUCH, and your worth is not tied to your stats at all. I only wish geography didn’t suck so much and you got all the opportunities you deserve, cause you deserve so much! And also that comparing ourselves to other bloggers didn’t… hurt so much, ah. ❤️ YOU’RE AMAZING!!
AHH you’re going to make me all emotional now Aline, you’re way too sweet ?? thank you so, so much, you’re the sweetest really, this means the world ?
It can be so hard NOT to compare ourselves to other bloggers at times, it’s so important to remind ourselves that it’s our own journey and we should only compare ourselves with… well, our past self ahah 🙂 <3
Marie, your posts always inspire me to keep blogging. I have to say that. I look at your blog and I have SO MUCH RESPECT for the quality of your posts, your design, and especially how active you are in the community, responding to so many comments and genuinely just getting joy out of interacting. Reading this post gave me so much hope, because if someone I look up to so much also feels jealousy, then it’s perfectly reasonable that I do too!
Nobody is perfect. Nobody can do it all (we’ve talked about this before). I especially like what you said about focusing on yourself and your blogging voice. Sure, discussion posts go around pretty frequently, but it’s nice that we all have our own take on things. It’s nice to hear what different people think on a subject. It’s fun to see different spins on things. Ultimately, we are a community of different people, with different styles and voices, and that’s what makes this place so much fun.
Thank you for always inspiring me to keep being myself. You’re wonderful <3
I might have just shed a tear or two while reading this. Christine ahh, what did I do to deserve you. You’re way too sweet to me ❤❤
I agree, there are so many discussions out there and same topics sometimes come around, but I love how everyone has their own voice to tell their opinion, their own spin on things and it’s so great to see how incredibly diverse and amazing the community is ❤
Thank you so, so much for your comment, this made my entire week ❤❤
Awwwwww that makes me so happy! What did I do to deserve YOU?! You are such a bright spot in my week every time I get to read one of your posts and every time you read one of mine! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Ohhh, this makes me so happy Christine, ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Hi Marie! This is a really great reality-check post ? The part I resonated with most was the point about allowing yourself to be selfish with your blog — I completely agree with that. At the end of the day, no matter how wide your blog’s reach is or how many interactions there are, your blog is your own. The core of why I blog is because it makes me happy, so I make sure that every time I go onto my blog to write a new post or reply to comments that I feel happy about it, because that’s my ultimate goal.
Thank you for this post! ❤️
I so agree with you here, ultimately, it’s the fact that blogging makes us happy that keeps us going and we always should hold on to this selfish, beautiful feeling ❤
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, Zoie! ❤
Another fantastically eloquent post, Marie! You always write such amazing discussion posts. I’m definitely guilty of the comparison game, especially on bookstagram. I’ve been on the go there for ages and never seem to grow, while other people that started around the same time as me now have tens of thousands of followers. It’s hard not to get down about it sometimes and wonder what I’m doing wrong. Sometimes it gets so bad that I want to just give it all up because it feels like it’s not worth the stress. But I keep going for the wonderful friendships I’ve made.
And once again, my comment to you has become an outpouring that you didn’t ask for! I just wanted to say thanks for keeping it real here <3
Oh please feel free to ramble on in comments, I always love it ahah ❤
I admire people on bookstagram SO much, really. It’s so fun and… well, strange at the same time, to see, whether it’s on social media or on blogs, how quickly someone can grow while others have a slower pace. We all have different journeys, but I think what matters is that you keep on enjoying your journey ❤❤
These are awesome tips! It is SO HARD to not beat yourself up, but like you said- there is always someone who will have more views no matter WHAT you do! I had a real problem with all of this until somehow I kind of… just stopped. I don’t even know how I stopped being obsessed, but it was the best thing that happened. Because blogging used to stress me out SO MUCH because I was sooooo obsessed with the comparison. And it makes blogging just… not fun!
The unique thing is so important too- I have seen so many bloggers just try to be OTHER bloggers (yes, often Cait hah) and it just doesn’t work! You have to be YOU! You do such an awesome job of this exact thing, you should do a post on how you do that successfully!
I’m really so happy to see how you just stopped it – I wonder what was that moment or realization that hit you all of a sudden, because I want it haha. It’s nice when you’re feeling all good, but sometimes the bad feelings and comparison just comes back and… it can get so frustrating. It’s so important to keep on focusing on our journey and loving what we do ❤️
Agree! It’s so important to know that we’re all unique and to keep that in mind always ❤️ Oh thank you so much Shannon, this means so much!! ❤️ (and definitely keeping that post idea in mind!)
All excellent advice!! Thanks Marie! x
Oh thank you so much, so happy you enjoyed it! 🙂
Thanks for writing this! Not least because one of the people I get most jealous of is, well, YOU!
You get a butt-tonne of comments, everyone has something nice to say about you, and your blog and posts always seem so put-together and in-control!
Meanwhile, I’m over here with my weird, largely directionless, blog, which I struggle to define beyond ‘book blog’ (even though I worry there’s not enough bookish content,) and posts that I end up throwing together the night before they’re posted because I just haven’t had the time or energy to do them before then.
I suppose it doesn’t help that I do the typical Depression/Anxiety thing of going easier on everyone else than I do myself!
So yeah, knowing that you compare your blog etc. with others and get that blogger-envy thing too is kind of a relief! XD <3
Oh, oh you’re way too sweet, not certain I deserve all of this praise, thank you ?? <3 <3
I think that, at first, but also every now and then, it's hard to know what we're doing or where we're going. It takes time to figure out what we like doing the most, the posts we like to write the most, what makes us want to get back onto our blog and work on it. I think it's so important to take some time to figure that one. No one has to be uniquely a "book blog", you can expand your topics and talk about a lot of things, you don't need to have a niche or anything like that at all, if you want to explore a lot of topics, you can! As long as it makes you happy, that's the most important <3
Thank you so much for your sweet comment! <3 <3
Marie, I love this post so so much, and you’ve said so many things I needed to hear, especially right now. I LOVE what you said about how we need to do things that fit our personal paths and journeys — it really makes you think about what YOU are able to accomplish and how much you can achieve based on those capabilities, instead of how much you can achieve based off of others’ abilities. In general I have a hard time with comparison, with others, yes, but also hugely with my past self and how much More I did back then. But these tips are so good and definitely remind me that I’m in a different place from last year and the year before with different capabilities, and that’s okay <3
I’m so, so happy this post could help you <3 I think it's so important to focus on our own journey and to realize where we are now and what we can do depending on so, so many things that are… well, just related to us, our lives, mental health and more. We're doing this as a hobby and we're doing great as long as we're enjoying it, no matter what our rhythm may be <3 You're doing amazing <3 <3 <3
Everyone who writes blogging advice tells you to think about your reader… so as a book blogger I at first really tried to do that and satisfy those who came to my blog… But blogger visitors come and go so I started to realize if I wasn’t going to be totally depressed them I needed to stop worrying about them and worry about what I thought. It’s really helped me form a vision of what I want my blog to be… its different than other bloggers and that’s okay. Great points Marie and some great advice!! ❤️
I’m so happy to hear that you changed your point of view and write whatever makes you happy, too , this is so, so important <3 yes, blog readers come and go and sometimes we can't really control that (and why would we? we shouldn't bother with that too much either, because it takes too much time and it's not our job). It's important to focus on what makes us happy and what kind of content we like to put out there 🙂
Thank you so, so much Dani! <3
Wow, this is so awesome and quite inspiring. Thank you so much.
Oh you’re so welcome, thank you so much for your sweet comment <3
You are most welcome Marie.
I love reading all yours posts about blogging so much! They’re always so open, honest and real❤️ I find it really hard not to compare myself with other bloggers, but I really try to do what you do and turn into inspiration instead. After reading this, I feel nothing but inspired ❤️
Oh thank you so much, this means so much <3 <3 I'm so happy you're feeling inspired, keep on going, you're really doing amazing and I love everything you write <3
(Marie, I’ve said this countless times before: but I LOVE THE NEW VISUAL, OKAY? I’m your new layout’s #1 fan. I’m sorry for being so annoying, but this header is so cute!)
I think I’m pretty good at not comparing myself stats-wise. I don’t care that much about stats for me or anyone else; at this point, I’m trying to shift my focus and rather pay more attention to all the people I’m meeting and connecting through blogging. However, I do constantly feel like I need to be just as original, just as fun, to read just as much. I am a slow reader and I’m pretty much reviewing all backlist books at this point in my blog, so it’s a bit hard not to feel like I need to do more for the community, like all these lovely bloggers are.
All your advice is welcome and much needed. Thank you so much for sharing, Marie! I’m now preparing to stare at my posts for a few minutes until I feel proud of it, hahah.
AHHH Lais you’re too sweet, you’re not annoying AT all, it warms my heart every single time you say it, thank you so, so, so much!! <3 <3 <3
I love how you're saying you're paying more attention to the people you're meeting and connecting with, this is exactly what I want to focus on, too, <3
I get that, I always feel like I should be reading more and more, but there's only so much time in the day and I can't read while I'm at work all day long either, unfortunately haha. You're doing amazing though and you should be proud, I'm SO happy you're back at blogging and have been writing so many amazing posts <3 <3
Thank you so, so much for your sweet comment! <3
When I first started bookblogging/bookstagram, it’s was really hard to see how other seem to success easily, but now, seeing beautiful, aesthetically pleasing blogs/accounts just motivate me to try to do as good!
Oh yes, agree! When you first start it’s so easy to feel discouraged by it all and… well, even now, at times ahah. It’s so good to try to use that energy into feeling motivated and inspired to do our very best 🙂
Thank you!! <3
I had a book blog in college, and I was always focused on followers and how I could improve my ratings. It was unbelievably stressful. When I had kids, I stopped blogging. There just wasn’t time for it. It was a much needed break and the time away gave me perspective. I’ve only had my current blog for a little over a year, and it’s much more relaxed. If people choose to follow my blog, awesome. It’s also okay if they don’t. I really love the friendships I’ve made, and the conversations we share. I also enjoy reading more now, and I DNF books when they’re not working. I’m happy with exactly who I am, and what my blog looks like today.
Lindsi @ Do You Dog-ear? ?
I’m so happy you have such a relaxed approach to blogging, really it’s all I aspire to have, too ahah 🙂 This makes me so, so, happy to hear <3 <3
Thank you so much for your comment! <3 <3
I try to only blog when the kids are napping or in bed for the night. They’re only this age once, and I want to take advantage of it. The computer tends to stay off all day, and I don’t know where my phone is unless I want to take a picture of them doing something sweet or silly. With the nicer weather, we’ve been outside a lot, and getting are garden ready. There’s more to life than books and blogging, even though I love both immensely! I read a lot of children’s books during the day, haha. I read and blog when I have time. It’s not about numbers or stats, but the community and friendships. There are plenty of blogging mommas out there. 😉
Lindsi @ Do You Dog-ear? ?
Agree, there’s more than blogging out there for sure and you should enjoy it 🙂 I’m not a mom so I don’t know what it’s like blogging with kids, but honestly all of the blogging moms are superheroes to me <3
It is only when I started blogging that I understood how many people there are in the world. That’s funny, right – cause blogging is sort of a solitary activity. You don’t go out to see crowds. You’re in front of a screen. But the way it worked for me was that I have always known that our community is exceptionally small, compared to lifestyle or travel bloggers, for example – evidenced by the numbers of follows even, that our community members get normally. So this reasoning… Knowing it’s so small, and yet I keep seeing new names and faces, and I could follow and follow bloggers and never be done… Made me realize how vast the world actually is. And like you say… How there’s always going to be someone better. Because I think, when there are so many people in the world, the idea of ‘best’ becomes irrelevant. There can probably be no such thing. It’s a complete misconception.
But yes, just like you say, I also often fall prey to blogging jealousy. Probably more often than a lot of people! Because it took me forever to get any followers at all. But you know the weird thing? Back when I thought my stats were “only just growing” and I had a small number of followers… It turned out that that was my best time. I don’t ever get that many views anymore. Despite having had wayyy less followers then. So bottom line is, the stats lie. Or we actually don’t ever know what the stats mean. Stats barely scratch the surface of anything.
I know I’m still going to struggle about the stats, but… The fact is, what really matters is that when I took that dreaded hiatus, I received DMs. People asked if I was okay. People CARED. That means more than numbers. That means everything 🙂
I so agree with you! Even if our book blogger community can seem small, at first, it’s so amazing to see just how many bloggers we can discover here and there in a day, there are just so many of us already. I find that both amazing and kind of stressful ahah 🙂
I agree with you on that, statistics are not telling us the whole story and, most of it all, they’re not telling us whether we enjoy what we do or not. What matters is how we feel about blogging and about what we put out there and the interactions we have, the people that are always there and so on. <3 It's amazing to see how, no matter if your stats are high, average, low or whatever they look like, you can always create these amazing connections, you're so right about this <3
Thank you so, so much for sharing your thoughts on the topic, Evelina, I hope you've been well <3
Such an insightful post! And love your advice 🙂
Not comparing ourselves to other is hard! For me it was something i had to actively work on. Like, every time i felt like comparing myself to someone, i had to ask myself why. Why do i think they are better? Why do i feel like it matters, etc. I didn’t happen related to blogging, but to real life stuff, so it just got so overwhelming after a while.
Oh thank you so much Norrie, so happy you liked it 🙂 I agree that it’s something we need to actively work on, I’m trying to do that as much as I can <3
Oh damn I needed that right now. Thank you!
Oh you’re so welcome, thank you for your sweet comment 🙂
I love this post <3 I want to bookmark it to read every time I'm feeling discouraged about blogging! Thanks, Marie ^_^
Oh, oh Hannah thank you so much, this means so much <3 <3
Seriously – it’s so easy to get discouraged and forget why we started blogging. This post is wonderful! <3
Ahh this makes me so happy, thank you <3 <3 <3
Marie, I have to say that I absolutely LOVE the rebrand and beautiful new graphics! Your blog looks so amazing now, did Kat do all of the graphics? She is so talented.
The comparison game is so hard, but I really find myself competing with myself more than anyone else. Which is weird and kind of annoying because so much of blogging (and those horrible statistics that I can’t help but look at) involves a lot of factors that I don’t have a lot of control over. At the end of the day, I tell myself that as long as I am proud of the work I am doing that is all that matters. Always growing and evolving, finding new inspiration. Great post, as always!
OH Kal thank you so, so, SO much this means the world that you enjoy them so much, thank you!! <3 Yes, Kat did all of the graphics, except for all the featured images (for this blog post and all the upcoming blog posts from now on), which is from my very talented and wonderful sister and co blogger @nyxcorner 😀
I agree, there are so many things that are out of our control when it comes to blogging, yet we can't help but… be frustrated by this, even if we can't control it. SO frustrating haha. You're so right, as long as we're proud of our work, we're doing great 🙂
Thank you so, so much for your sweet comment! <3 <3
Nyx did a wonderful job with the featured images, I totally dig them too! Well done, honestly!
Aww, you’re too sweet, this means so much thank you <3 <3 <3
All of writing is a journey. There’s always going to be someone more experienced than you, there will be times when you miss out on opportunities, etc.
However, there will always be people that are newer than you. It’s important to keep that in mind too. Every success.
This is true both for book blogging and for writing stories or any other type of writing. Our unique experiences are all needed.
Agree! All of our unique experiences are needed and welcome 🙂
Thank you so much for your comment! 🙂
Excellent tips Marie! I think we are all very guilty of this, but especially newer bloggers. I wonder if this is why many new blogs do not make it to the 2 year mark?
For me personally, I’ve come to realize that other blogger’s success is earned, so I can’t really be jealous… I know better than anyone how much time and effort blogging takes, so why be jealous? It is something I could attain too if I worked harder at it.
Oh maybe it’s that – I feel like there are SO many bloggers, but I feel like… dinosaurs like me blogging for over 4 years are rare haha.
I’m so happy you enjoyed this post, thank you so much <3 <3
This is a really useful post, thank you!
I take a bit of a relaxed approach to my blog; my main goals are to post every Monday (which isn’t always easy!) and to see a gradual growth in views from the year before- even if it is just 1 view higher!
I’d say that as a result I don’t get a lot of “jealousy”, but with some of my other hobbies or social media platforms I feel a bit of self-doubt or a bit lost instead? For example I’d love to have drawing as a side-hustle to sell stickers and things, but haven’t had a lot of luck gaining followers/ a solid fanbase. As no one comments on my social media for these ventures either it’s hard to know whether my art just sucks or whether there is something else?
Sorry for the ramble haha, but this does have some really nice tips 🙂 I hope they help people feel more at ease with their blog
Oh please never apologize for rambling, I love these kind of comments SO much, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts <3
Oh I wish I had some advice when it comes to other kind of platforms like these ones, but these things can take a lot of time, too, I think, regular promotion and time to put yourself out there, too <3
Thank you so, so much for your sweet comment! <3 <3
Oh goodness, yes! That’s really good advice. When I first started I did it with 4 other people who started their blogs too and I’m the only one of us that still has a blog. I don’t just post book reviews and thought maybe I should at first but I like having a variety of posts on my blog so I just do what I want. I post what I want to share and just hope that others find it as interesting as I do. I try not to compare myself to others or other blogs. We’re all unique and that’s a good thing.
I’m so glad you’re happy with your content and putting what you like out there, this is what matters the most 🙂
Thank you so much for your sweet comment!
how true we have a habit comparing ourselves to otheres in so many ways as humans it’s a shame but we have done for a long time. well done on your blog.
#Lifeat60
Thank you so much 🙂
I really agree that it can get overwhelming- but I think it’s so important to focus on your own blog as well. Such a great post! <3
Agree! <3 Thank you!! <3
You so often cover these topics that are universal to bloggers–love it! Yes, pretty much every blogger suffers from jealousy at some point or another. There’s always someone above us; even those who most of us would consider the biggest bloggers can’t be best at everything. I used to strive to grow in every single area, and then I figured out that it just wasn’t sustainable. I’m happy with my blog and happy with my audience–I have quite a few true friends that I’ve met through blogging. If I focus too much on more, more, more I’m really just doing myself a disservice. (Of course, that doesn’t stop the jealousy from surging up completely–but it’s an attitude that helps. LOL!)
Oh thank you so, so much Nicole, this makes me SO happy <3
I agree with you on that – before and still now sometimes, my mind is stuck on that "more, more, more" loop, but in the end it's just the best way to burn ourselves out. Being happy with what we have and with what we do is what matters the most 🙂
Thank you so much!! <3 <3
I ended up needing this so much as I come off hiatus. It’s such a struggle not to compare myself with others — and in the end it affected my mental health the first time round, so thank you, sincerely for this, Marie ?♡
Oh Eliza, of course, this makes me so happy if this could help a little bit. You’re amazing <3 and I'm happy to see you're back!! <3 <3
I’m so glad I came across this. I’m very new to this platform and it’s a struggle to not compare yourself to the “bigger and better” bloggers. I need to constantly remind myself that I’m not doing this for fame or recognition but because I simply enjoy writing, reading and sharing my thoughts!
I’m so, so happy if this could help <3 it's so hard not to compare ourselves to others, but we're all on our own journey and, as long as we like what we do, we should keep on going and focusing on ourselves 🙂
Thank you so much for your sweet comment <3
We all need to hear this encouraging message! Thanks for sharing! I always admire your cute, whimsical, creative graphics! Did you do the work yourself?
Thank you so much Carol! And thank you, you’re so sweet! The top graphic for the blog post has been made by my sister and co-blogger, while the graphics inside the post itself -the little hats and signature- have been custom made by the wonderful Kat (http://waffleycutedesigns.wordpress.com/) 🙂
I need to find someone in my life to help me! I’ll also check our Kat ?