How to stop comparing yourself to other book bloggers

I’m going to be completely honest with you here: I tend to play the comparison game way, way too often. In the book blogging community, we are thousand and thousands of people screaming about books. In the bookish community overall, including people only on twitter, on bookstagram, for instance, we might be twice, third times more. The community always grows and this happens to any other kind of online community. We are a lot.

This means that there’s a lot of people that we can compare ourselves to.

Right in the middle of a blog-hopping session, stumbling upon a blog with an absolutely stunning design and layout, you can feel it. Scrolling endlessly on twitter and admiring someone always speaking out, with the guts to lay out the things you’ve been feeling, but are too shy to say out loud, you can feel it. Spending time on bookstagram and finding these perfect, flawless, minimalistic or colored, cluttered feeds and you can feel it, slowly creeping in, that feeling.

Yes, I’m going to say it, that jealousy. My blog isn’t as good-looking as this one, my twitter is too quiet, my bookstagram isn’t as well put together as this one. The list goes on and on and, when you start, the comparison never, ever stops. It’s even more terrible if you’re anything like me, anxious as heck about everything and anything, a tiny little thing might just make you want to scream and feel worthless compared to others.

I’m not immune to the jealousy, to these feelings creeping in every now and then and, you know what? It’s okay. It’s human and it’s okay to feel this way, too. Yet, at times, the feeling can get overwhelming, can send us into a blogging slump, can make us want to quit it all together and make us lose faith in our work, too. Truth is, this has happened to me. Countless times. Yet, there are some advice I’m trying to remind myself of and, today, I thought I’d share it.

How to stop comparing yourself to other book bloggers

πŸŒͺ Statistics are not your whole truth: they do not make you.

Ugh, statistics. Numbers. I shiver just thinking about them, yet I can’t stop checking them, either. It’s terrible, the relationship we can have with blogging statistics. You know what? I’m just going to say it.

There’s always going to be someone with more numbers than you. More followers, more views, someone that receives more ARCs, someone that seems to get all the opportunities in the world. It’s hard then, isn’t it? To feel that thing creeping in, that jealousy, that thing that tells us that, yes, we’re not good enough because we’re not like them. Yet. Are we really on the same journey as they are?

Some bloggers are able to post three times a day and spend a long time promoting their posts, too. Some bloggers live in the United States and therefore get more opportunities than me, because I live across the Atlantic and teleportation isn’t a thing and money doesn’t grow on trees and geography sometimes just is the WORST okay.

We’re not like that. We do everything we can given our own journey, our own path. I’m working full-time, all week long. You might be in school, in college, working full-time or something else. We can’t all do it all. Obviously, this makes our statistics different. This makes our journeys different. This makes the way we blog different and, for that… well, we can’t really compare ourselves to others when we’re not on the same path.

β˜‚οΈ Related blog post: the truth about book blogging statistics.

πŸŒͺ Focus on yourself, your blog, your work, your voice. YOU.

This feels very self-centered and selfish, but this blog, this bookish space you’ve created is all yours, so you are allowed to be completely selfish. Whether you’ve been working on your blog for a couple days, three months, six years, it’s your journey and no one else’s.

You can also blog like no one else is in the community. We might be thousands, but only you can write about this book the way you do, only you can write blog posts the way you do, only you can have your blog like this or like that. There might be the same design template, the same book reviewed, the same kind of discussions coming around every now and then (because originality is complicated, yes). Yet, you blog like no one else, because you’re YOU and you’re unique. You have your own voice and your own passion.

I know how complicated it is to find your own blogging voice. I know how complicated it is to tell yourself to just get up and write, when it feels like everyone else has already done the same thing. They haven’t. You have your own way of spinning things and of writing them and believe me, no one does it like you do. Okay, but how can you actually feel that you’re unique?

  • Make a list of what you like about your blog (or bookstagram, book twitter, bookish platform). This can be the type of blog post you like, some particular pictures, a feature you imagined, the way you review, your design, your blog template, some pages. It can be anything, small or big. Take this as a starting point.
  • Go through your old blog posts (and do NOT cringe. I know. It’s so hard not to.). This works whether you’ve been blogging for weeks, months or years, because no matter what, blog post after blog post, you grow and slowly but surely, you’re finding the way you like to write, the way you like to blog. Read your posts. You’ll notice.
  • Just stare at your blog for a couple minutes or hours until your eyes hurt and be proud because even if you’re not self-hosted and a coding god of some kind and are using a free theme, this is your blog and YOU DID THIS AND THIS IS YOURS BE PROUD.

πŸŒͺ Beat comparison : inspire yourself to grow

Important reminder not to copy other blogger’s work, but get inspired. I’m going to link to Cait’s fabulous blog post on the topic about inspiring vs. copying, in case you are uncertain.

There are so many book bloggers out there and, if you’re trying to spin this in a positive way, you can get so many inspiration from their incredible work and grow yourself, too. I got inspired by Kat’s incredible series about branding and it made me want to brand my entire blog way better, which I did at the beginning of the month. I got inspired many, many times by Top Ten Tuesday’s prompts to write my own types of listicle blog posts and discovered that I actually love and love doing that a lot. I got so inspired by so many people, really.

There is so much inspiration to take from book bloggers you admire. I know I admire a whole damn lot of them all and, even if my anxious, vicious mind is always trying to tell me I’m no good compared to them, I’m trying to spin it all around and get inspired from them to grow as a blogger, instead.

I know that I will never, ever stop being critical of myself and my blog. I know that, deep down, even if I’m sharing this advice and reminding myself of it all as much as I can, I will still compare myself, my work, my blog, to others. It’s human and it’s okay, but I’m trying to spin it all around. Stay positive about it all and remind myself that, there are many blogs out there, but there is only one drizzle & hurricane books.

 

How do you deal with comparison overall? Are you feeling that frustration and jealousy every now and then, too? What do you struggle with the most?

How do you deal with it? Any tips and tricks to share? I’d love to hear from you in comments!

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Book blogger, travel blogger, writer. πŸ“š |🌍 | πŸ’ž Writing & Communications Graduate. French. Living on love, wanderlust and ya books.

174 thoughts on “How to stop comparing yourself to other book bloggers

  1. When I first started bookblogging/bookstagram, it’s was really hard to see how other seem to success easily, but now, seeing beautiful, aesthetically pleasing blogs/accounts just motivate me to try to do as good!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes, agree! When you first start it’s so easy to feel discouraged by it all and… well, even now, at times ahah. It’s so good to try to use that energy into feeling motivated and inspired to do our very best πŸ™‚
      Thank you!! ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I had a book blog in college, and I was always focused on followers and how I could improve my ratings. It was unbelievably stressful. When I had kids, I stopped blogging. There just wasn’t time for it. It was a much needed break and the time away gave me perspective. I’ve only had my current blog for a little over a year, and it’s much more relaxed. If people choose to follow my blog, awesome. It’s also okay if they don’t. I really love the friendships I’ve made, and the conversations we share. I also enjoy reading more now, and I DNF books when they’re not working. I’m happy with exactly who I am, and what my blog looks like today.

    Lindsi @ Do You Dog-ear? πŸ’¬

    Like

    1. I’m so happy you have such a relaxed approach to blogging, really it’s all I aspire to have, too ahah πŸ™‚ This makes me so, so, happy to hear ❀ ❀
      Thank you so much for your comment! ❀ ❀

      Like

      1. I try to only blog when the kids are napping or in bed for the night. They’re only this age once, and I want to take advantage of it. The computer tends to stay off all day, and I don’t know where my phone is unless I want to take a picture of them doing something sweet or silly. With the nicer weather, we’ve been outside a lot, and getting are garden ready. There’s more to life than books and blogging, even though I love both immensely! I read a lot of children’s books during the day, haha. I read and blog when I have time. It’s not about numbers or stats, but the community and friendships. There are plenty of blogging mommas out there. πŸ˜‰

        Lindsi @ Do You Dog-ear? πŸ’¬

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Agree, there’s more than blogging out there for sure and you should enjoy it πŸ™‚ I’m not a mom so I don’t know what it’s like blogging with kids, but honestly all of the blogging moms are superheroes to me ❀

        Like

  3. It is only when I started blogging that I understood how many people there are in the world. That’s funny, right – cause blogging is sort of a solitary activity. You don’t go out to see crowds. You’re in front of a screen. But the way it worked for me was that I have always known that our community is exceptionally small, compared to lifestyle or travel bloggers, for example – evidenced by the numbers of follows even, that our community members get normally. So this reasoning… Knowing it’s so small, and yet I keep seeing new names and faces, and I could follow and follow bloggers and never be done… Made me realize how vast the world actually is. And like you say… How there’s always going to be someone better. Because I think, when there are so many people in the world, the idea of ‘best’ becomes irrelevant. There can probably be no such thing. It’s a complete misconception.

    But yes, just like you say, I also often fall prey to blogging jealousy. Probably more often than a lot of people! Because it took me forever to get any followers at all. But you know the weird thing? Back when I thought my stats were “only just growing” and I had a small number of followers… It turned out that that was my best time. I don’t ever get that many views anymore. Despite having had wayyy less followers then. So bottom line is, the stats lie. Or we actually don’t ever know what the stats mean. Stats barely scratch the surface of anything.

    I know I’m still going to struggle about the stats, but… The fact is, what really matters is that when I took that dreaded hiatus, I received DMs. People asked if I was okay. People CARED. That means more than numbers. That means everything πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I so agree with you! Even if our book blogger community can seem small, at first, it’s so amazing to see just how many bloggers we can discover here and there in a day, there are just so many of us already. I find that both amazing and kind of stressful ahah πŸ™‚
      I agree with you on that, statistics are not telling us the whole story and, most of it all, they’re not telling us whether we enjoy what we do or not. What matters is how we feel about blogging and about what we put out there and the interactions we have, the people that are always there and so on. ❀ It's amazing to see how, no matter if your stats are high, average, low or whatever they look like, you can always create these amazing connections, you're so right about this ❀
      Thank you so, so much for sharing your thoughts on the topic, Evelina, I hope you've been well ❀

      Like

  4. Such an insightful post! And love your advice πŸ™‚
    Not comparing ourselves to other is hard! For me it was something i had to actively work on. Like, every time i felt like comparing myself to someone, i had to ask myself why. Why do i think they are better? Why do i feel like it matters, etc. I didn’t happen related to blogging, but to real life stuff, so it just got so overwhelming after a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Marie, I have to say that I absolutely LOVE the rebrand and beautiful new graphics! Your blog looks so amazing now, did Kat do all of the graphics? She is so talented.

    The comparison game is so hard, but I really find myself competing with myself more than anyone else. Which is weird and kind of annoying because so much of blogging (and those horrible statistics that I can’t help but look at) involves a lot of factors that I don’t have a lot of control over. At the end of the day, I tell myself that as long as I am proud of the work I am doing that is all that matters. Always growing and evolving, finding new inspiration. Great post, as always!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. OH Kal thank you so, so, SO much this means the world that you enjoy them so much, thank you!! ❀ Yes, Kat did all of the graphics, except for all the featured images (for this blog post and all the upcoming blog posts from now on), which is from my very talented and wonderful sister and co blogger @nyxcorner πŸ˜€

      I agree, there are so many things that are out of our control when it comes to blogging, yet we can't help but… be frustrated by this, even if we can't control it. SO frustrating haha. You're so right, as long as we're proud of our work, we're doing great πŸ™‚
      Thank you so, so much for your sweet comment! ❀ ❀

      Liked by 2 people

  6. All of writing is a journey. There’s always going to be someone more experienced than you, there will be times when you miss out on opportunities, etc.

    However, there will always be people that are newer than you. It’s important to keep that in mind too. Every success.

    This is true both for book blogging and for writing stories or any other type of writing. Our unique experiences are all needed.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Excellent tips Marie! I think we are all very guilty of this, but especially newer bloggers. I wonder if this is why many new blogs do not make it to the 2 year mark?

    For me personally, I’ve come to realize that other blogger’s success is earned, so I can’t really be jealous… I know better than anyone how much time and effort blogging takes, so why be jealous? It is something I could attain too if I worked harder at it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh maybe it’s that – I feel like there are SO many bloggers, but I feel like… dinosaurs like me blogging for over 4 years are rare haha.
      I’m so happy you enjoyed this post, thank you so much ❀ ❀

      Like

  8. This is a really useful post, thank you!

    I take a bit of a relaxed approach to my blog; my main goals are to post every Monday (which isn’t always easy!) and to see a gradual growth in views from the year before- even if it is just 1 view higher!

    I’d say that as a result I don’t get a lot of “jealousy”, but with some of my other hobbies or social media platforms I feel a bit of self-doubt or a bit lost instead? For example I’d love to have drawing as a side-hustle to sell stickers and things, but haven’t had a lot of luck gaining followers/ a solid fanbase. As no one comments on my social media for these ventures either it’s hard to know whether my art just sucks or whether there is something else?

    Sorry for the ramble haha, but this does have some really nice tips πŸ™‚ I hope they help people feel more at ease with their blog

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh please never apologize for rambling, I love these kind of comments SO much, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts ❀

      Oh I wish I had some advice when it comes to other kind of platforms like these ones, but these things can take a lot of time, too, I think, regular promotion and time to put yourself out there, too ❀
      Thank you so, so much for your sweet comment! ❀ ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh goodness, yes! That’s really good advice. When I first started I did it with 4 other people who started their blogs too and I’m the only one of us that still has a blog. I don’t just post book reviews and thought maybe I should at first but I like having a variety of posts on my blog so I just do what I want. I post what I want to share and just hope that others find it as interesting as I do. I try not to compare myself to others or other blogs. We’re all unique and that’s a good thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you’re happy with your content and putting what you like out there, this is what matters the most πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much for your sweet comment!

      Like

  10. You so often cover these topics that are universal to bloggers–love it! Yes, pretty much every blogger suffers from jealousy at some point or another. There’s always someone above us; even those who most of us would consider the biggest bloggers can’t be best at everything. I used to strive to grow in every single area, and then I figured out that it just wasn’t sustainable. I’m happy with my blog and happy with my audience–I have quite a few true friends that I’ve met through blogging. If I focus too much on more, more, more I’m really just doing myself a disservice. (Of course, that doesn’t stop the jealousy from surging up completely–but it’s an attitude that helps. LOL!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you so, so much Nicole, this makes me SO happy ❀
      I agree with you on that – before and still now sometimes, my mind is stuck on that "more, more, more" loop, but in the end it's just the best way to burn ourselves out. Being happy with what we have and with what we do is what matters the most πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much!! ❀ ❀

      Like

  11. I ended up needing this so much as I come off hiatus. It’s such a struggle not to compare myself with others β€” and in the end it affected my mental health the first time round, so thank you, sincerely for this, Marie πŸ“–β™‘

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m so glad I came across this. I’m very new to this platform and it’s a struggle to not compare yourself to the “bigger and better” bloggers. I need to constantly remind myself that I’m not doing this for fame or recognition but because I simply enjoy writing, reading and sharing my thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so, so happy if this could help ❀ it's so hard not to compare ourselves to others, but we're all on our own journey and, as long as we like what we do, we should keep on going and focusing on ourselves πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much for your sweet comment ❀

      Liked by 1 person

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