Shattering Stigmas – Sharing my story & Event wrap-up

Happy Saturday, friends!  Today is the last day of the Shattering Stigmas event and, one last time in case you missed it, Shattering Stigmas is an event that will take place from October 6th to October 20th here on Drizzle & Hurricane Books.

Three years ago, Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight launched the first Shattering Stigmas, a blogging event dedicated to posts about mental illness to address and challenge the stigmas against it. Through book reviews, discussion posts and lists, Shattering Stigmas has continued conversations around mental illness for the past three years.

This year, for the Shattering Stigmas 4.0, you will be able to find incredible guest posts on blogs from all four hosts of the event: Taylor, Ben, Madalyn, Kitty and Marie.

You can also enter our INTERNATIONAL (Book Depository) giveaway! TWO winners will be able to win the Mental Health book of their choice at the end of this event. Don’t forget to ENTER HERE!

Today is a bit special : it is the end of the event and this post will therefore be divided in two parts : the actual very last post of the event and then me just being the big marshmallow that I am. Okay. Let’s do this !

Today I’m welcoming…. well, myself.

I’ll be completely honest with you. I did not plan on writing a blog post about mental health, my own experiences and I did not plan to share anything like that. I’m not the kind of person that shares a whole lot about myself and, unless you know me really well, which a very small amount of blogging friends can attest to, or unless you’re part of the big loves of my life and family well… I’m just not. Sharing. Stuff.

Yet, mental health is a topic that is very close to my heart and, personally, hit close to home, too. This is one of the main reasons why, this event mattered to me a whole lot. This is one of the reasons why I’m honored and thrilled to have hosted so many incredible blog posts and to have seen incredible blog posts on my amazing co-hosts blogs, too, on the topic.

Mental health matters. Mental health needs to be mentioned, recognized, right terminaisons need to be used and most of it all, mental health needs to matter. Because it does. It does for me, too.

Trigger warnings for this post: anxiety, panic attacks.

I don’t remember how it started and I don’t know if it will never end. I’ve always been an anxious kind of person, the kind of person that just can’t let her mind shut up, for one single second. The kind of person that feels like, no matter how hard I work, no matter how many time I spend, blogging, for instance, I will never be good enough or just do enough.

I know I’m a cheery-looking kind of person, especially online and on my blog. I’ve always been, and always try to stay within my image, and the best part of who I am, a marshmallow-y kind of person, loving to write endless comments, chatting with you all and always, always, always trying to be positive and put a smile on people’s faces.

This is who I am or, this is who I’m trying to be as best as I can, as often as I can, because it’s someone I like to be. But honestly, how much can you tell from a person on the other side of the world, on the other side of a computer screen?

No one can tell that I’ve been having some of the worst weeks of my life since the month started and I broke my feet. No one can tell that, since the month started, I went from crying three times a day to once a day, to now just letting the numb feeling wash over me once a day before it gets away, once again. This broken feet and life’s event has a way of making your mind get a little bit all over the place and especially does not help with the overthinking problem.

No one can tell that I woke up in the middle of the night some days having a panic attack. No one can tell this has happened to me (panic attacks, not necessarily the middle of the night thing) every now and then. Not often enough for me to feel like, somehow, I might be dealing with more anxiety than I thought I was. Randomly, without even any kind of reason. No one can tell that, despite my travelling, I’ve been crippled in bed in Portsmouth in the middle of the night because of that, or had to get out of a Pret A Manger in London because I felt like I had a lump in my throat and felt like I was going to throw up or pass out or both. Without reason. Without any kind of warning signs at all.

“Panic attacks are a lot like being drunk in some ways, you lose self-control. You cry for seemingly no reason. You deal with the hangover long into the next day.”
Sara Barnard, A Quiet Kind of Thunder

Things like this have been happening to me every now and then for a couple of years, now. Ever since high school, actually. I always knew I was a very anxious kind of person. Yet, these past few years have allowed me to learn more about this and most importantly, to learn that I am not alone.

The editions of the Shattering Stigmas events, previously hosted by Shannon, helped me learn, though the blog posts, more about mental health overall. A topic I started taking interest in, a topic I wanted and still want to understand.

Because there is too much stigma surrounding it.

People using words they shouldn’t, for illnesses they actually are not able to understand. People telling you to just chill, when you just physically and mentally can’t. People failing, or sometimes not even trying, to understand that it’s not just a little mood swing, just a bad day, just a little bit of stress.

I’m tired of people not getting it.

And I know I’m not perfect, either, but I’m trying. I’m learning, more about myself and about others, learning to care, to hold a helping hand and a couple of helping words for others. Just like I hope people will do when I’m on an anxiety spiral that just won’t let go.

I hope this event, these blog posts and just the overall talks about mental health, will encourage people to pay attention. No one can magically cure me, nor can they cure anyone dealing with mental health issues. I dare hoping that people will be inspired by this event. To raise their voices. To raise awareness. To give a hand, a listening ear, some love. To remind us to breathe. To tell us it’s okay not to be okay.

So… hi everyone. I’m Marie and I’m dealing with anxiety.

I know I can’t end a blog post without talking about books on here, because I’m weak and because books have helped me in this whole self-discovery and helped me in finding parts of myself and my own experience so, so much. Books I encourage you to read for their anxiety representation that I personally found on point. (Note that not all experiences can obviously be represented here. They just, worked, for me.)

 

It has been an incredible honor to co-host the Shattering Stigmas event for the past weeks and an even greater honor to feature so many incredible bloggers, too. Mental health is a topic that is very dear to my heart.

I want to thank the incredible Taylor, for doing such a great job at hosting this Shattering Stigmas 4.0, for always being there to answer all of my questions and for taking me along on this incredible, rich adventure.

I want to thank my brilliant co-hosts as well, Ben, Madalyn and Kitty.

I want to thank every guest poster on my blog, May, Marta, Kat, Lily, Beth, Clara, Morgane, Clémence, Sakhile, Epsita, Simant and May for sharing their stories, their beautiful, beautiful posts and their voices for this wonderful event, as well as all of the guest posters all around the blogs hosting the event. Thank you for sharing your stories, thank you for helping us shattering stigmas.

Last but definitely not least, I want to thank all of you readers. Thank you for taking the time to read, comment, like, share every blog post and making each voice of this event a little bit louder, too. Thank you for listening, for your support, excitement for the event and excitement for the guest blog posts I had the honor to publish on this little platform of mine.

I hope this event helped you understand mental health better, I hope this event helped shattered some stigmas and I dearly hope that you’ll continue along with us all, shattering all the stigmas surrounding mental health.

Thank you!

 

 

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Book blogger, travel blogger, writer. 📚 |🌍 | 💞 Writing & Communications Graduate. French. Living on love, wanderlust and ya books.

57 thoughts on “Shattering Stigmas – Sharing my story & Event wrap-up

  1. Thank you so much for all the hard work you put into hosting this event, Marie, I’m so honored to have been a part of it! ❤️

    You’re such wonderful person, and bright presence in my blogging life, and I’m sure many people feel the same way. Thank you for trusting us, and sharing your story! Know that you’re not alone, and I’m always here with open ears and arms. ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for sharing your story ❤ Hang in there!

    You are right. People don't know enough and jump to conclusions. I'm glad there are more and more info out there. There was a similar event in my office building, kind of a charity bake sale for mental health awareness, and i overheard some of my colleagues making fun of it :/ Typical.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Norrie! ❤
      Oh no, I'm so sorry this happened :/ it is so frustrating to see people doing this, not even trying to understand and already judging and just saying all the wrong things, when they could do better. All it takes is a bit of research, asking, being supportive even if sometimes you can't grasp things yourself if you haven't lived or experienced them. That would already be a great step ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Marie! Thanks for opening up and sharing your story! That had to have been really difficult for you. I hope that writing the words helped relieve some of that anxiety! I think I may have mentioned that my brother has schizophrenia and having dealt with his disease usually makes me hide from, or at least avoid looking for those topics because I want a release from reality. However, I myself, don’t have the same problems my brother has and in reading your post I have realized that I may need to be more outspoken myself as well as more sympathetic. Thanks for being so brave and making me take a look at my own actions. Xoxo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank YOU so much Deborah for reading and for your support, that means so much! ❤
      I can understand that and, even if sometimes it is hard to speak up, it's important, too, in order to help raising awareness about these mental illnesses and to help shatter all of the stigmas people tend to have about them, too.
      Thank you so, so much!! ❤ ❤

      Like

  4. Lovely post, Marie! You expressed your feelings so well and I almost had tears in my eyes when I reached to the end 😭 You are right, we can’t tell by only reading one person’s post, that what’s actually going on with them. You are so happy always and spread so much positivity in this community. You are special, just know this 😊 We all love you 😍
    I am sorry that you are going through some difficult things at the moment. I really hope everything gets better soon and you feel more happy and energised. And how’s your feet now?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you Sim, that means a lot 😭 ❤ You're so sweet, really, thank you! ❤ ❤
      I hope so too, I guess it is just a bad time, I hope the recovery will be okay. I have my foot in a cast and it will stay like this for another entire month, so…. well, let's just say things could be a bit better, but well, ahah 🙂 Thank you for asking!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Awe, Marie!!! This was an amazing post and I am sorry I haven’t been more vocal in my support lately, but you are doing great considering the circumstances. I know how hard it has been. I literally couldn’t stop crying at the airport when I flew to Vienna and I wasn’t even sure why. It was a mix between my ankle being messed up, being glad to go home, being sad about circumstances … tears just kept coming. But this isn’t about me, this is about how amazing of a person you are and how strong and capable. I don’t tell you this enough but you are a force to be reckoned with and a true pillar of this community, as well as just one of the best friends I could ask for. You are enough! We all have our own things to deal with and sometimes it’s not easy to share them but I hope you know that I will always try my best, work and whatnot withstanding, to be here for you if you need me!! ❤ love you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kat, you never ever ever have to be sorry about things like that, you’ve been a huge support at all times really and I can’t and will never be able to thank you enough for everything 😭 ❤
      I get that, I have felt the same way for a long time, I guess frustration has a way of making tears coming or something haha. Anyway it’s okay and I hope your ankle is better!! ❤ ❤
      I can't thank you enough for everything, really. you're the best, I love you ❤❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for sharing your honest experience with us and I realize it may not have been easy at all. I don’t suffer from any mental issues, at least not more than what any ‘normal’ millennial does, but I try my best to understand what others go through. I watch out on my friends, from real life and virtual ones, and this series on shattering stigma has helped a lot, at least in scratching the surface of understanding what they go through.

    Hugs.
    LG

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank YOU for your sweet comment and it really warms my heart to see that this series has helped you understand what some people go through a little better, this makes me really happy ❤ thank you, for your work and for doing your very best to support and understand what others are going through, that really is so important and it means the world to me and so many others, I am certain of this ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Well matey, I have to say that I always find ye to be a strong and admirable person. Yer posts do make me smile and brighten me days. And I be very sorry to hear that this month has . . . well, sucked . . . for ye and that ye are in pain. I know there is nothing I can do to help and that makes me sad. But I have been very impressed by the entire shattering stigmas series and the courage of everyone to share and support. And really the reminder that what front we have to put up to survive does not mean that “happy” or “normal” people aren’t having tough times. I just think that overall, I can only hope that for all of us the days in the future where we look happy are actually days where everyone is happy. I tend to be a rather salty curmudgeon whose days of being under the weather and in rough seas seem to be the norm. But I have to admit that under that personae, I wish for blue skies, fair winds, and smooth sailing for me and all me crew. Arrrrr!
    x The Captain

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ahhh Marie, you’re such a strong and amazing person. 💖 Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story with anxiety with us; I know it couldn’t have been easy. (I’ve never opened up about the extent of my anxiety either, and I don’t think I ever will – at least not in the near future.) I’m so proud of you, and I’m so glad that you know you’re not alone (you never are!). The part where you said that you aren’t perfect and you’re always learning – I relate to that so much. This is such an inspiring post 💓

    And YES, I’m so glad you found yourself in those books! I love IWBFT and Starfish so much for their anxiety representation (as well as Eliza and Her Monsters). Ahh, thank you so much for co-hosting this incredible event, Marie! I definitely learned a lot from reading everyone’s posts (and your post, of course). Again, I’m so proud of you for sharing your story with us; you’re wonderful and I love you and your marshmallow-ness so much! ☺️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so, so much Dezzy, you’re way too sweet ❤️❤️ I completely understand that – writing that post was not easy and I certainly didn’t share and will never share everything either. It’s very personal and it all is a matter of whether you want to talk about it, or not, and to which extend. No matter what, please know that if you ever feel the need to talk, vent or anything, I am here for you always ❤️❤️

      Thank you so, so much, I am so happy you could take something out of this event and that you enjoyed it so much, it means so much. It was my honor to be able to co-host it, I had such a great time ❤️ thank you SO much!! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I thought this was a brilliant post Marie. 🙂 ❤ I'm so glad you decided to post about your own issues with mental health (a lot of things you said about your anxiety were things I related too, because in a few ways my anxiety is the same), and thanks so much for hosting this event as well. I loved reading all the posts and it was actually kind of nice to have a channel where I could share my own journey with my mental health too. ❤
    Queens of Geek is an incredible book when it comes to anxiety rep (and rep in general lets be honest) and this is the second post featuring Starfish I've seen lately so I need to get around to that ASAP for sure.
    Great post, and again thanks for everything you've put into this event. It's clearly been very much appreciated. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you so, so much Beth, this means a lot! ❤ I’m so happy you enjoyed the event and I’m glad that you could speak up, too, that’s so important ❤

      YES! I can’t believe you haven’t read Starfish just yet, Beth – but then again, it took me a while to get to it, too, so I can’t be mad at all haha. But I hope you’ll get to it soon, I loved it SO much! 😀

      Thank you so much for everything ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi Marie ❤
    Thank you for sharing your story. It must take a lot of courage to share this with the community. You are such a sweet and kind person. Even though we haven't met in person, I can feel that you like to make others happy and put a smile on their faces. Thank you for hosting this event and for bringing awareness to mental health. You are an inspiration 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you, Sophie, you’re too sweet!! ❤ I’m so happy you enjoyed this event and I really hope you could take something out of it. I really do my very best to bring up some positivity and smiles, even when I can’t smile myself haha ❤ thank you!!! ❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Marieeeee!! You brought tears to my eyes with this post. Thank you so much for hosting this and giving me and so many other amazing creators a platform to speak about something so close to all of us. thank you for being so strong and sharing your story, it really can seem so daunting and scary to share something so personal but you did an amazing job and im so proud ❤️❤️

    and it can’t be an official marie post without some recommendations 😉😂 honestly those are some great choices. im so looking forward to reading am i normal yet, i’ve only heard amazing things about it

    i hope youre having an amazing week and youre feeling as amazing as you make all of us feel ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh May you’re a sweetheart I’m going to feel all emotional now ❤ thank you so much for your sweet words and support, this means so much ❤❤❤

      I can’t WAIT for you to read Am I Normal Yet, it was just, BRILLIANT, really, I loved it ❤
      Thank you so, so, so much!! ❤❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you so, so, so much for your sweet comment and I am so glad you enjoyed the event ❤ I'd love for you to get involved next time! The Shattering Stigmas event usually is held once a year and I was just a co-host, but if I get the chance to host again I'll let you know for sure! 😀 ❤ Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you for being so honest and opening up in this final post ❤ It's not easy being vulnerable, but I think it's really great to hear other people open up about their experiences and they're going through. We don't always see what other people are going through in real life when this entire community is based online, but I hope you know how much we're rooting for you and supporting you. 🙂 You're so incredibly loved in this community, and you're so much stronger than you think~

    This entire event was amazing and brought so much awareness to mental health! I know that I truly learned a lot because every person's experience is different, and truthfully, it makes me feel more ready to tackle my own issues with anxiety and self-image. Reading everyone else's stories and receiving book recommendations is a great reminder to know we're not alone 💕

    CONGRATS on wrapping a wonderful event!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Tiffany thank you so, so, so much for your sweet words and your support, this means the world, really, you’re too sweet, thank you ❤ ❤ ❤

      I'm glad you could learn a bit more thanks to this event – it's always a bit complicated to tackle our own issues, but I hope this helped a little bit. You're incredible, never ever ever forget that ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Aw, Marie!! This post makes me so content — I am so happy that you were able to host this event, and your words are just extremely powerful. I think that reading all of these posts has definitely opened my eyes even further about the topic of mental health, and I love all the things that everyone talked about. And I relate so so much (too much) on appearing okay. I try to be more open about it online because it’s the only place I’m open about it, but it’s hard to express what kinds of things I think about when I have a breakdown, or what it feels when I go through a depressive / anxious episode. I hope you know that I, and so many other people, are ALWAYS here to support you, and whether you need a long venting session or just some words of encouragement, I’ll always be here. Thank you again for this amazing event, and I LOVE YOU! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you so, so much May, it makes me so happy to hear you enjoyed the event and it was such an honor to have you guest posting, too, thank YOU for your work and for sharing your story, too ❤ ❤
      And thank you so, so much for your sweet words and encouragement, really, it means so much more than I can say, you're too sweet ❤ Thank you!! ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Thank you for saving me a spot, for being such a sweet soul and for all your work behind the scenes, Marie! I’m really enchanted to have been part of this wonderful event! 🙂

    It’s so brave of you to share your story when it isn’t easy for you to speak about your anxiety in the first place. 💛 Tell yourself that each time you travel, each time you explore the world, even when it goes peanuts, it’s a win!

    I’m sorry to learn that life isn’t soft with you right now. I send you lots of love. Always stay marshmallow-y. 🍭💛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank YOU for being part of this, it was an honor to have you!! ❤
      And thank you for your sweet words, that means a lot. It's never easy to talk about these kind of things, really, but… I guess it also feels good to hear we are not alone in this, either. ❤
      Thank you so much, you're too sweet, I try my best to ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  15. And that my friend.. Is how you show to me once more what a beautiful and strong woman you are 😍 I’m so proud of you for writing this post. I know it wouldnt be easy. I hope writing it out gave you some relief. As for me, it shed a light on mental health and see that I’m not alone in battling my own demons. I LOVE YOU MARIE 💕💕♥️😭 CÂLINS TIME.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwwww Trang thank you so much for your sweet comment, you’re way too sweet, your support means so much 😭 I am so, so happy this event could help you and please know that I am always here if you ever need to talk ❤
      I love you ahh thank you so much Trang, you made my day with your sweet words ❤ ❤

      Like

  16. Thank you so much for sharing this Marie! Sharing such a personal story is such an incredibly brave thing to do. And thank you for hosting this event and being such a wonderful, kind person.

    It’s funny that I read this post today, as I just heard one of my teachers talking about how everyone sort of wears “masks” and how it’s hard to tell sometimes when people are dealing with stuff that you don’t know about. It’s so easy to assume that everyone is doing great, both IRL and on the internet, and what you said about this and having an internet persona really rang true for me. I’m so sorry that you’ve been having a hard time lately, and I hope that you feel better soon. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you so, so much Annie, your words mean a lot to me ❤❤

      I agree, it’s so easy to just, build this facade and never let people in – but sometimes we have to open up, too, especially to talk and shine a light on things that matter just like mental health, for instance. ❤ Thank you so much, you’re too sweet, this means a lot ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, especially as you didn’t particularly plan on doing so or wanted to do so ❤ It can be really hard being personal about that kind of thing. I think in the beginning I kept my blog as my happy place so I know it can be hard to step out of that persona for a bit. But yes, it's okay to not be okay and it;s good to know there are others out there as well who understand and want to help you through things ❤ Sending love your way ❤

    As for the books, I think I've mentioned in all the comments that I loved A Quiet Kind of Thunder. But I have Starfish on my kindle and really need to read that one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your sweet words and support Olivia, this means so much ❤ It is always kind of hard to talk about these things for me and I know I won’t do it often, but this event gave me that possibility and, like you said, it’s important to share that it’s okay, not to be okay, too ❤ Thank you!
      I’m so glad you loved A Quiet Kind of Thunder! I really enjoyed this book as well. I can’t wait for you to read Starfish, I hope you’ll love it ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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