After you’ve been blogging for more than two years, you think that things would get easier, somehow the blog posts obvious and your blogging voice here and screaming to get out everytime you write. But it is not always like this and if there’s something I struggle with in my everyday life just as well as in blogging, it’s confidence. I want, today, to tackle this delicate subject in my blogging ways feature, hoping you’ll enjoy this new, a bit personal insight into blogging.
The book blogging community is huge. I have discovered so many bloggers, and even made some blogging friends I talk to on an almost daily basis, which I LOVE. But given my type of personality, I always have the wrong (I know), tendancy to ask myself if I am good enough. Blog-hopping every day, being on Twitter and seeing all these fantastic bloggers with revolutionary ideas, gorgeous blog designs and layouts, writing stunning reviews with their own words they can manipulate sort of like magic, will do that to you. See, I’m someone that is very, very prone to comparison every single day in my life, and somehow this teeny, tiny feeling of measuring up to everyone else’s accomplishments has found its way into my blogging routine.
Thinking about this feels silly, so does writing about this on the blog, but lately I feel like this feeling has been taking over my life and my little blogging enthusiasm. I LOVE blogging, even if it’s so time-consuming I sometimes wonder what the heck’s wrong with me for caring so much about this. And I think that’s the reason why I’m like this: I care too much about things, both in life and in blogging, which brings me more than often to compare myself to all the other fantastic book bloggers out there and wonder if, if I care so much about this, how I can do better and be better and be just like these bloggers I admire so much. I just want to be my own role model, really. #goals.
Jealousy comes from so many things, and with social media everywhere and everyone showing off their super-wonderful-lifes, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. In blogging, it might be because I spend so many times blog-hopping that, sometimes, I find myself sad not to have thought of an idea before, or not to have written it down earlier. It might be because I see so many people reading books I haven’t gotten to yet, or didn’t get an ARC of for whatever reason – or maybe because I’m French and not in the US, or someplace where getting physical ARCs seems to be way easier. It might also be because I’m way too often on Twitter even if I am not tweeting, and seeing everyone active and speaking up about things that matter. Things that I did not see because I haven’t read the right books yet, because I am not as talkative as I could be and just overall, because I often feel like what I have to say don’t always matter.
But I guess if everyone thought this way, then no one would speak up, both in life and about problematic books, and nothing would change.
I want to take that blogging envy and tell it to just, well, f*** off. Sorry for the language here, but there’s no other word to express this. I want to be kinder to myself, to tell myself I am working hard enough and that this is my blogging space. I want to remind myself that it’s okay to feel jealous, but this should be a good enough reason to get things moving and speak up, write that blog post my own way, get inspired by others (without stealing ideas obviously) and just do.my.thing.
I hate blogging envy, but I have no advice on how to make it get away. I wonder if I’m anyone’s role model or anyone’s source of jealousy just like so many bloggers are, for me. I wonder if I’ll ever go to that space where I feel no blogging envy at all. But also, I wonder if it’s worth it. Envy makes us strive for more. Makes us want to work harder to get there, to look like these role models we seek.
Maybe it’s not that bad after all, I don’t know.
daleydowning says
You’re so right, that it is much easier to tell ourselves, “oh, that other person’s fantastic design/stats doesn’t matter…”, than to actually believe it. I think it depends a lot on what you value most from the blogging experience. If it’s community, then we need to remember to focus on that. If it is numbers, then we need to work on maintaining that. For most of us (especially the unpaid bloggers), community is the big deal. And most of the time, the people in our community are there honestly because they like our content and our personality – if our design is cool, for them it’s just a bonus. 🙂
Marie says
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this, Daley <3 Community is always the most important part of this adventure, and if people keep on coming and commenting like you do always with your sweet comments, I shouldn't feel too much blogging envy at all, just really grateful <3
Drew @ TheTattooedBookGeek says
Great discussion post as per usual! 🙂 Should I feel envious about that??lol
Ha, there’s no need to apologise for the language when you don’t actually use the swear word and put in the stars instead of the letters! 🙂
I don’t think I feel jealous or suffer blogging envy as such but I’m not a confident person under the sarcasm and even blunt posts I’ve written, I’m confident in what I say but not how I get it across, if that makes any sense?? I know I’m not the most eloquent and don’t use the correct grammar and often write in an informal way compared to others and for a long long time I didn’t think what I wrote was good enough, I’d see these awesome reviews and posts that looked like essays with lots of big words and perfect grammar and then there were my reviews with the shoddy grammar and more informal approach. But……recently, I’m not bothered by it now anywhere near as much, someone said in the comments on a review that they love how I write reviews as it comes across like I’m having a conversation with them about the book and telling them what I did/didn’t like and something clicked after that comment as that was what I was always going for and after that I’ve finally figured out that it doesn’t matter if I suck at grammar and spelling and lack in eloquence as I write reviews/posts how I would talk and it feels natural and if it’s good enough for others then it should be good enough for me too.. 🙂
I actually had an indie author contact me the other day, they want to appear on my blog and they told me in the email that they are in awe of how proffessional my blog looks compared to there’s and that an author they know recommended me as a good blogger to work with, call me shocked!lol But I guess it shows that everyone suffers from envy to some degree and that it is natural and can’t be helped. Part of me will always think though that me as a blogger and my blog aren’t very good, guess it’s just something we have to deal with feeling that way when you question yourself. 🙁
I definitely get your point though about asking ‘if you’re good enough’ I do it in real-life too and it bleeds into blogging, etc as you question what you post, etc too just like you would do questioning things in real-life. 🙂
Take it from me though, we don’t read the same books but you have a great blog and write quality posts (like this one), people will probably envy you! 🙂
Marie says
Haha thank you so much, Drew, your comments always make me smile 🙂
I feel the same way sometimes when I write blog posts, and I wonder – do I make ANY sense here, or am I just rambling?
You’re so right, we all have our own way of reviewing, and even if we can look up – not up, more, sideways, after all bloggers are equal, or so I want to hope – and compare ourselves to what other bloggers do…In the end, we should just do our own thing? It is so great that you got compliments on your way of reviewing, I think that’s one of the best compliments to get as a book blogger 🙂
Haha really? This is SO great – and I’m not too surprised, your blog does look so great it’s normal people and authors are drawn to it 😉
Thank you so much, Drew, I always appreciate your comments and I’m glad I’m not alone in always questioning everything ahah 🙂
Drew @ TheTattooedBookGeek says
I think most people question everything or if not everything then a lot of things, it’s natural, alas, some people are just more confident than others while others end up questioning things. Yes, doing our own thing is best, blogging should be fun and the way to make it fun is to do things how you want and in your own voice/style.
Totally agree that all bloggers are equal, at the end of the day it’s true regardless of blog following, size, how long you’ve been doing it, etc bloggers are all the same, bloggers and before that readers.?
mikaela says
Oh, yes, I think everyone definitely had blogger envy at one point or another! There are so many bloggers I both envy and admire because they have a large following on all their social media accounts, and have the best posts, and come up with the best ideas, and have all the ARCs. It always sucks, but at the same time, it pushes me to make better content and to get inspired by what other people are doing. I feel like blogger envy is inevitable, but the way you use those feelings is what really matters. ?
Marie says
Thank you so, s much for sharing your thoughts about this. It makes me feel better knowing I am not alone and yes, I guess we can only want to be more and try to do more that way 😀
Kristin @ Flickering Lights says
I relate to this so much, blogging envy, as stupid as it is, is one of the big reasons why I lost so much motivation towards my blog, and then ended up not blogging for a while. It’s just so hard not to compare yourself to other blogs, and as you said it’s so incredibly easy to tell yourself how you’re just good enough. Lovely post Marie, I really enjoyed reading this and knowing I wasn’t alone! 🙂 x
Marie says
Thank you so much Kristin, I’m glad you could relate – also, this way, if we ever feel this way, we can turn to each other for support 🙂 <3 I hope the motivation is back now and that you'll feel like blogging more again, you have such a lovely blog <3
TeacherofYA says
Oh most definitely! I have a crappy blog bc I only have my phone for design. Sometimes I’ll get a comment saying, “You know you can make your pics smaller.” Ummm, no I didn’t know that, but thanks for telling me in front of everyone! ?
I have an app and that’s what I use. I’m so wanting the Noze Graze design or the Tweak Me one (whatever it’s called) and a paid domain. But I can’t afford those things. So I do what I can. But I see all these pretty blogs with buttons (do you know how long it takes to code a button with an iPhone?? It’s impossible! HTML is a bitch!) and links and pictures.
So yes. I try to take pride in what I have made with my lil ol’ phone but no one knows that’s all I have for design. No special designed Headers or little vector packs for me. My Rainbow Brite rating ststem took me FOREVER on Canva!! To make all the diff ones! ?
I hear ya, sista! Though I think your blog is superb!
Marie says
You make everything with YOUR PHONE?! HOW, I am forever admirative of you, wow, that’s crazy but awesome, you definitely should take pride in this <3
Pamela Nicole says
I think a lot of us can relate to this topic. I’m not sure the envy really goes away. When I started, I envied people who got 5 comments in their posts or so consistently. Now I envy those who get about 20. Because when we get where we want to be, we always want to go to the next stage. It doesn’t end. So I think that ‘striving to be better part’ can be positive.
The negative feelings that eat you up until you get to that next stage are not fun at all though. You CAN ease those, by reading positive comments on your blog, thinking about what makes you proud about it, your achievements… That always makes me feel better.
So, I would say, getting rid of envy is almost impossible, but you can keep a certain balance between the pros and the cons of feeling that way. 🙂
YOU’RE AWESOME MARIE, AND YOU’RE CERTAINLY ONE OF MY ROLE MODELS!
Marie says
Thank you so much Pamela and you are WAY too sweet, thank you, it means so much to me <3 <3
You're right, it' s a great way of looking at things, actually: balance the good things and think about these to reach the next stage, and maybe one day get rid of the envy once and for all ahah 🙂
★ Bentley ★ says
I definitely have blogging envy! Especially concerning my writing skills. I really tend to over-analyze the things I write and also compare them to others. Sometimes I’ll finish writing a review and worry that nothing I said in it is coming off how I hope it does in my mind. I’ll feel like scrapping it entirely, but the desire to improve and get better also keeps me going. I feel like I learn a little bit more every day, and I guess that’s the best I can ask for.
Marie says
Thank you so much for your comment <3 I'm part of these people always questioning everything, and I always wonder whether or not my posts are actually making sense before posting them – then the better part of me just says, whatever, go for it, it's your blog haha. I hope you'll feel this way just as well, at least a little bit, and gain confidence as you go on. I'm learning this everyday just as well 🙂
espressodream says
I have major blogging envy! Every time I sit down and try to put down a post be it a non-review post or even a review post. I’ve only been doing this on and off…and honestly I’ve not really gone out of my way and made too many blogging friends but the few I have I appreciate 😀 So that adds to the envy as well, when I see others do so well on that front.
As for how to make it better, for me I try to keep telling myself I’m doing the best I can. Look back at what I’ve achieved/done/managed so far and rather than grow jealous try to learn from others what I admire of them. It’s damn hard to do, but I try. Like you say sometimes we need to be kinder to ourselves.
It’s tough and like you I feel, it might never go away, but perhaps we need to accept the envy, because it does make us grow. 😀
Marie says
Definitely, we are all doing the best we can. I tend to be the kind of person putting a bit of pressure on myself when it comes to blogging, and I guess that’s where the envy comes from just as well. You’re right though, we need to be proud of what we are doing 🙂
Reads & Reels says
Great post! I think everyone one feels at some point or another. For example, I always wonder how those new blogs got thousands of followers I just a few months when I have been doing this for a year and don’t even come close in numbers. What are they doing that I’m not? You know? That said I think my blog looks great and I love doing it so I remind myself, who cares?!
Marie says
I have the same feeling haha I’m actually glad you said that. There are bloggers getting like, thousands of followers in the matter of weeks and I have no idea how they do it. Numbers aren’t the biggest source of envy tbh, it’s more of a design and layout thing for me overall, but still… Makes me wonder if these people are magical or someting haha 🙂
Thank you so much!! <3
bookdrblog says
I get blog envy, I bet most people do. Some blogs look so cool, I’m not tech enough to do anything that special 🙁
Marie says
I get the feeling, I’m far from being good to do anything with a cool design myself ahah – but I guess we are already special in the way we blog and write our blog posts? At least that’s how I try to look at it when I get envious 🙂 <3
Reg @ She Latitude says
Ahhh I love this post and I can relate SO BAD, Marie. I know we’ve had similar discussions before because we’re both quite comparison-prone (what a bad habit to share, omg) but I love the angle you took with this one.
I’m not on Twitter that much anymore but every time I’m there it always feels like everyone’s speaking up about really important issues, and I’m just there being… silent, haha. I feel like I need to be more active, but I’m also dealing with a few IRL things and I just don’t have the emotional space to speak up, even when I know it’s important. Anyway – this is all to say that I too don’t feel like what I have to say really matters, so you’re not alone on that.
I actually wrote a post on this myself about how to defeat blogging envy. Some days are great, but as is life, some days can still be pretty bad. Like you, though, I also want to be kinder to myself – I think that’s just such an important thing to hold on to. <3
Marie says
Thank you so, so much Reg! And now that I think about it, I can recall that blog post you’re talking about – might need to stalk your blog to find it again, it’s much needed at the time.
I’m actually glad to hear you understand my feelings. Bookish Twitter has become a bit overwhelming because of that and I just look from afar I guess :/
Thank you so much, Reg. Comparing ourselves to others definitely is a bad habit but…well, we’ll overcome it someday ahah I hope <3 <3
Reg @ She Latitude says
Haha, please do! I welcome your stalking. 😉
Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel. I think when I was less busy IRL I could be on Twitter more, but now all my energy is taken by real life so just going on Twitter occasionally exhausts me. It’s definitely an important fight, though.
tanazmasaba says
I have been a victim of blogging envy during my early months of blogging–I’d see tons of incredible bloggers with the most beautiful blog layouts, funny or thought-provoking reviews, and such creative posts. I’ll be honest–it didn’t feel good, and it was extremely demotivating.
I am glad I am no longer that girl anymore. I think what really helped me was remembering why I was blogging in the first place–because this community is magical and full of friendly people with I know I can rant about books and be understood. Yes, looking at my stats and then at other blogger’s skyrocketing stats would definitely dampen my positivity and interest in blogging, but it’s important to remember that blogging is not a competition. It’s a stress reliever; not a stress maker.
Marie says
It really is demotivating when you start thinking this way – and I guess that was my state of mind at the moment of writing this post. I really think it’s so important to remember why we blog, despite all the doubts and everything that can come along with envy and being part of such a massive community. It’s definitely not something to stress over, especially since we are doing it for free haha 🙂 Thank you so much for your input on this <3
Mystery Date with a Book says
Oh, I completely understand where you’re coming from! I’m just a newbie here (my blog just turned 1 a couple of weeks ago), so the majority of the blogs I follow are better than mine (yours included) and I end up getting blog envy! I think it’s human nature to compare ourselves with one another, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, in my opinion. We could learn so much from one another. If somebody copies something that I do on my blog (which has happened quite recently) I take it as a compliment. It means I’ve done something that people appreciate and want to replicate in their own blogs. I truly think you’re doing a fantastic job with your blog! As a newbie I look up to your blog, and really admire your style 😀 Keep being you!
Marie says
I feel like a newbie as well at times ahah, especially seeing how young bloggers seem so much better than me, both in terms of numbers and comments and everything ahah.
You’re right, yes, I guess it’s supposed to be a good thing to compare and learn from each other. We can take a lot of inspiration from each other just as well. I hope that someone didn’t copy something that you loved so much and wanted to keep on your blog only? I know I tend to get annoyed if I see someone copying what I am doing, but…yes, I guess it could be seen as something good as well. Thank you so, so much for everything, you are the sweetest <3 <3
Mystery Date with a Book says
Oh, I really don’t mind people copying me. If by some miracle I ever do something that you think your readers might like, feel free to copy it! 😀
Marie says
Aww thank you , that’s so generous of you <3 <3
Poulami @ Daydreaming Books says
I’m in the same boat… Sometimes it’s easier to brush it away and sometimes it’s not. We can only strive to be ourselves and be as original as possible. <3
Marie says
Exactly <3 Thank you so much, Poulami <3
lindseyhabets says
I completely relate to everything you said, Marie! I also have the habit of caring too much about things, both in real life and in the blogging world and it does make me suffer from blogging envy a bit as well. I love blogging and blog hopping, but seeing all those other blogs out there that are so amazing and beautifully lay-outed and have amazing content and so on, makes me feel kind of … inadequate, I guess. And I know I shouldn’t be, and I should focus more on the inspiration those blogs give me, instead of the envy. But sometimes, that’s what happens when you combine something you spend so much time and care so much about, with a dose of perfectionism and self-doubt 🙂 I don’t really have any tips or tricks, except maybe to try to feel inspiration instead of envy (still working on that myself ;))
By the way, I just want to say that I think your blog is completely amazing and inspires me as blogger <3
And also, yay for a Mindy gif 😉
Marie says
Hahaha I think we are the same person, deep down haha, with the perfectionism and self-doubt and caring too much about things. We are the perfect target for blogging envy, aren’t we, haha. I guess you’re right, and in days like these we need to remember to be inspired instead of envious 🙂 Thank you so, so much, you’re so sweet <3 <3 <3
wittygingergoesaround says
I really love this post Marie, I felt very connected with your feelings. You are not alone and most important don’t give up. You rock!
Marie says
Ohh thank you so, so much, that’s all I wanted with this: for other bloggers to be able to connect to what I feel <3 Thank you, you're the sweetest <3 <3
ravenblake99 says
That is lots of frustration! Blog envy is something that I can relate to! The really hard thing about blogging is make time for it while dealing real life. Blog envy is sort of a blog disease that every blogger faces sometime in their blogging journey so you really need to let go of it before you lose your interest in blogging. I blog for fun because it’s something that makes me happy and I really don’t care about the numbers! 🙂
Marie says
Haha yes I guess at times I need to vent and let out all the frustration I might have been feeling. It feels good just to let it out, and know that others can relate to it, I feel less alone this way ahah <3 Thank you so, so much Raven <3 <3
ravenblake99 says
You’re welcome! 🙂
May Everly says
Oh, I totally agree! I’ve faced some blogging envy as well: Is my blog good enough? Do people like my content compared to _______? I care too much, like you said about yourself. But what I’ve figured out is that it’s not about the numbers, it’s about the support and love from the blogging community. If you have that, then you’re good enough. It doesn’t matter if you have one comment on your blog or one thousand–you are good enough, because you are you. 😀
Marie says
This comment is beautiful I want to frame it and just remember it forever <3 <3 Thank you so much lovely, you're the sweetest and 100% right, as long as we are ourselves it's enough, and the community is awesome <3
May Everly says
Aww, haha! You are most welcome, Marie dearest! <3
mypaperinfinity says
This post really spoke to me. Blogging envy is something I experience as well. I’ve just started blogging so it’s very easy for me to get frustrated for not getting enough views, not having many followers, not having a fabulous theme with content to match, etc. Like you, I compare myself to all these other amazing bloggers and I keep asking myself how they do it and how I can do it, too. I need to keep reminding myself that I’m my own person and that I can anything I want but it’s hard. It’s hard to have enough confidence to just do whatever you want to do without caring about things like stats and numbers.
Marie says
It really is hard to gain that confidence and not to keep your eyes set on the stats ; but I believe we all can reach that point, as long as we remember how much we love blogging and the community and the feeling of blogging for ourselves, really <3 <3
mypaperinfinity says
You’re right. Whenever it gets tough, I just remind myself that I’m (ultimately) doing this for myself because I love blogging and engaging with the community
Marie says
I do that too, and I feel instantly better 😀
Kelly says
I always tend to feel this way, too – I’ve been blogging for almost two years as well, and I always come across blogs that are more nicely designed than mine, have pretty graphics, are amazing when it comes to bookstagram posts, feel able to get active in the Twitter community, and have tons of followers and comments…and I’m just sitting here reading books and getting backed up on reviews. I guess I don’t have the confidence to constantly engage on Twitter, and I don’t really have the time, patience, or money to make awesome bookstagram posts, but I still love blogging. The friends that I have made in the blogging community are some of the best people, and I love interacting with them on a daily basis, as you do. With a job, two kids, and a back problem that makes it impossible for me to do half the things I’d like to, I kind of just stopped worrying about whether or not I’m good enough, or envying other people and their blogs. I’m at a spot now where I’m pretty happy, you know?
Also, I love reading these posts!
Marie says
Thank you so, so much Kelly – also, your blog looks absolutely stunning, I love it, really <3
I kind of lack the confidence to interact with more people on Twitter as well, and I'm seeing so many things being said and I feel like…well I'm just here haha but not really part of it. I guess it's really only on twitter, though.
It's so good that you found your happy place in blogging – it's definitely something I seek, and sometimes have, but since I'm the kind of person that always has doubts, it tend to come and goes ahah 🙂 Thank you, once again! <3 <3
theorangutanlibrarian says
I think it’s quite natural to feel this way- I even play my blog posts off against each other (like, “why did this one get so much attention when that other one deserved more love”). I think it happens to the best of us, even if it’s just a twinge of “oh I wish that was me”- but I think you hit the nail on the head with the fact that it should make us all strive for more- instead of just using it as a rod to beat ourselves with! And since I can’t stand to hear you beat yourself up in any way, I have to remind you that your blog is absolutely incredible and one of my favourites!! Great post!!
Marie says
OH YES that happens to me too, ahah, I guess it makes us sad when we think a post is going to get tons of attention and then it kind of…doesn’t ahah.
Thank you, and that’s so sweet of you to say! <3 <3 I tend to have loads of mixed feelings about blogging, I'm glad that when I pour my heart out like that, well…I can find you and others to relate ahah <3 <3
theorangutanlibrarian says
hahaha I know right!!
You’re welcome!! I meant every word!! <3 And I think a lot of us feel that way- that's why I really love these posts cos it reminds me that we're all going through the same things as bloggers and it really helps!! <3 <3
Marie says
Aww thank you, I’m so, so happy it helps <3 <3
theorangutanlibrarian says
You’re welcome!! <3 <3
Beth (Reading Every Night) says
Great post for this topic Marie, I think blogging envy is something everyone suffers through at some point or another. The thing is though you may be looking at someone else’s blog envious of their design or their post and they may be looking at your blog thinking the exact same thing. I think as I blog hop and see what people have done with their blog and what they write I think to myself ‘wow that looks amazing, why can’t I do something like that?’. I get a lot of blogging envy when I see people who design amazing graphics because I would love to be able to do that but am not sure how. Still I love looking at the graphics can spend hours looking through sites like Society6 and Etsy at all the bookish goodies there. 🙂
I guess my opinion is you can’t really stop blogging envy, just try and use it to push yourself forwards to make your blog and posts even better. At least that’s how I see it! 😀 <3
Marie says
Thank you so much, Beth! <3 <3 Yes that's how I try and think about it. Also, YES for all the designing. I really wish I could have the skills to do my own blog design and a great custom logo and everything, but, erm…I'm definitely no good and / or don't have the patience and time to learn and buy Photoshop or the software to do it well ahah. Thank you! <3 <3
Beth (Reading Every Night) says
That’s all right Marie! 😀 <3
In terms of designs and graphics I do the best I can but compare to some people's it just seems woefully inadequate. Still overall I'm happy with my blog as is and that's what matters isn't it?
That's all right. <3
Marie says
Yeah that’s definitely what matters the most <3
Jen Lucas says
Hi Marie.
Yes. I totally get blogging envy and I think many of us often feel that way. I often see people who are so established or seem so confident in what they are doing and wish I was that confident in my own blog and posts. I really do think I ramble and go on too much, struggle to find original words to use and feel I’m letting the author down with my poor words.
But then you know what? It’s your blog and it’s perfect because it is a reflection of you. You don’t need tonne anyone else because if you love what you do and love what you are talking about then it shines through. If you stay true to yourself then it will always be perfect. People want to see different things in blogs and we don’t need to be the same. There are loads of us out there united by passion but unique in how we express it and that is absolutely fine.
Keep going as you are. The blog is brilliant. I love your blog name and I love your unique way of expressing your thoughts. 5⭐️ from me.
Marie says
Hi Jen! Oh I get your feeling about “letting the author down”, or at least feeling like you are. When I loved a book so much, I never feel like my words and reviews can do it any justice, and convey just how much I loved it.
Thank you so, so much for your sweet comment, it means the world to me <3 <3
Melissa @ BookNerdMomo says
I can relate so much to this, Marie! I have definitely felt blogging envy, especially when I see so many bloggers that are great at coming up with original content but then there’s me who sort of struggles with that aspect. And aside from original content I always feel a tad jealous of bloggers who can manage a busy life and read two to three books a week. That’s my norm for the month and it makes me wish I had the time and ability to read faster. Then, of course, gorgeous blogs with beautiful themes and graphics! I try so hard not to compare myself but sometimes those little doubts creep in over the fact that I don’t get as many reviews out as someone else or I don’t have a ton of original content that makes me stand out. Sometimes, I feel like blogging envy is the inevitability of blogging since we humans can be quick to compare ourselves to each other. I, sadly, have no tricks to get rid of blogging envy and can only say that you’re not alone in feeling it ?. Anyway! Great discussion, Marie! ?
Marie says
Thank you so much, Melissa ! <3 <3 Oh I get it about the reading struggle – I tend to read about 4 books a month or 5 depending on the length of each book, and I am always amazed and a bit jealous at bloggers who can get through so many books ahah. But I guess we all have our own reading rhythm 🙂
I'm glad to hear I'm not alone, and knowing that I can talk with you about these feelings definitely makes me feel better <3 <3 <3
Melissa @ BookNerdMomo says
You’re welcome! ?
Very true, we do all have our own reading rhythm. And I’ve always been the type of reader who tends to read a bit more slowly – especially when it comes to reading fantasy. ?
That’s good! Sometimes knowing you’re not alone really does help. ?
Marie says
Well at least if you read slowly, you can really get into the fantasy worlds you’re reading about 😀
katreadssph says
I love this post, and I love how raw and authentic you’ve been in expressing yourself here! 🙂 Well, I guess everybody/all of us would feel blogging envy at some point in our blogging lives. I, for one, have my blog for three years now and I think I’m basically a nobody in every sense of the word! But also there are times that I’d pat myself on back and appreciate all the great accomplishments I’ve done so far. Let’s turn all these blog envy feelings to admiration to those who have gone to the top and are actually making it big! And then, you’ll never know, one day soon it would be you up there! 🙂 Hugs, Kat 🙂
Marie says
Oh thank you so much Kat, I’m really happy you liked it <3 <3 And youre so right about this, I love your positive input on this. Thank you <3 <3
Kat Impossible says
Of course your are the source of other people’s blogging envy! Just look at me!! I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you, but you are doing so much better – staying on top of your schedule, creating amazing features and discussion posts! You are active and kind and relatable 😀 you are doing an amazing job and I am constantly jealous in a friendly way of course hahaha
Marie says
Awwwww Kat but no reason to be, YOU ARE AWESOME, really <3 <3 <3 Also, I'm staying on top of my schedule but I'm losing my mind over it a little bit every single weekend, hahahaha. You are the sweetest <3 <3
Kat Impossible says
I think we are all awesome, but sometimes it’s hard to see all that you are doing yourself when you see the success and the hard work of others. 🙂
Marie says
Yeah that’s definitely it. Thank you Kat!! <3
RibbonReviews says
Hey MArie! I think to compare yourself to others is TOTALY alright and good sometimes, to find ways to imporve. Just don’t stress yourself about it too much 😉 I can’t go blog hopping every day, sometimes I can’t check other blogs out for a whole week or more so I’m not obsessed with ideas for the blog as I once was when I had more time on my hands. Maybe taking a break from blog hopping would do the trick?
Marie says
Thank you so much for your sweet comment, you’re right, I shouldn’t stress too much about it, or at least try ahah 🙂
RibbonReviews says
I hope it helps a little 😉
Marie says
It does, thank you! <3 <3
Sydney @ Fire and Rain Books says
I completely understand what you’re talking about! However, I think your blog is magnificent and actually what I have blog envy for haha. So don’t get down on yourself because you have such an amazing blog that is an inspiration to me.
Marie says
Oh Sydney, thank you so much, that’s really sweet of you to say <3 <3
Puput @ Sparkling Letters says
I relate so much to this post Marie!! I think we’re so similar in this. I’m naturally a person who always compare myself to other people and then push myself to be better, or at least as good ahaha I don’t think it’s always a bad thing though, because it has helped me got better especially when I was in school 😛 I carry this trait to my blogging life as well. I think blogging envy is inevitable, starting for the most obvious thing like being jealous over stats, especially of people with better stats who have only blogged for as long as I do, or even shorter ? to the more vague one like their ability to notice things and voice their opinion. Case in point with problematic books. I so often miss problematic stuffs in books and then I read reviews in which the reviewers point out all the things I missed and I feel bad about myself because I wasn’t as educated and aware as they are. I’m also jealous of those bloggers who could voice their opinion so eloquently hahaha I’m still learning. Always am, actually, so I totally get what you meant 😀 for what it’s worth, I think you and your blog are incredibly amazing! I’m sure there are people out there who are jealous of your blog, including me 😛
Marie says
Thank you so much Puput I’m happy I’m not the only one feeling this way. I guess really it should inspire us and make us want to improve and do more 🙂
And YES about problematic books, I feel the exact same way – whenever I read a book now, I’m a bit scared to miss the problematic issues, to enjoy it and not adress the problematic points here and then…I don’t know, get pointed at for it somehow? It makes me feel really down about myself and scared to review books now at times :/
Thank you so, so much <3 <3 <3
Puput @ Sparkling Letters says
Right? I always feel so bad whenever I rave about a book, miss its problematic aspects, and then to find someone else points out the issues hahaha I guess we really need to be more aware of things 😀
Marie says
Yes I guess we do 😀
Molly's Book Nook says
I think most of us feel this in some form or another. I know I have/do still. Whether it’s design or, for me lately, its been because I haven’t been reading much. I’ve been in a slump that’s so hard to get out of but I WANT to read and I want to read all these amazing diverse books that are coming out but I just can’t. I can’t get myself to read more than a book a month for the past 5 months! So, when I see all these people reading books left and right, there’s a little envy there! haha
I think it’s okay to have that, but to recognize that you’ll never be someone else or have someone elses blog. That you’re unique in your own ways and there’s no “rules” on how much you have to blog hop, or be on twitter. Just be you because no one else can be you for you.
Great discussion!
Molly @ Molly’s Book Nook
Marie says
Ohh I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling in a bit of a slump, I hope you’ll be able to get rid of it soon – and you’re still reading a bit, which is already good! I get the feeling though, I don’t get through so many books each month and I always get a teensy bit jealous to see just how many books others can go through in a month, it’s crazy.
Thank you so, so much Molly! <3 <3
Blaise @ thebookboulevard says
Blogging envy is a difficult one, definitely-envy in general is. When it comes to confidence and appreciation, especially, though, I’ve found it useful to affirm myself. Every night before I go to bed, I think about what I’m thankful for on that day, what I am proud of myself for doing, and one thing I’m looking forward to in the coming days. It’s helped with my mindset, slowly but surely. Maybe give something along those lines a try?
Best luck,
Blaise
Marie says
Oh thank you so much for this great trick, I will definitely try that more. Thank you, Blaise! 🙂
Blaise @ thebookboulevard says
Sure. Best of luck! I’m rooting for you <3
Marie says
Thank you! <3 <3
cornreviewsbooks says
I’ve been feeling similar recently, I frequently feel like I’m not good enough in a lot of areas of my life, I have to remind myself that it’s okay to make mistakes and that no one expects me to be perfect. That not every blog post has to be a masterpiece and of all the reasons I love blogging. Your one of my blogger role models and it’s nice to see you talk about something so relatable that I’ve been to scared to talk about.
Marie says
Oh thank you so, so much ,it means a lot to me that you enjoy my blog and what I write – also, I feel like we are kind of the same person when it comes to feeling these things ahah. I always need to remind myself that I am good enough, and it’s work but I guess I cant quite change who I am ahah 🙂 Thank you so much lovely, and if you ever need to talk about blogging / or insecurities in life or anything, I’m always here 🙂
cornreviewsbooks says
I feel that way too. ? your right it is work and you can’t change who you are but you gotta stay positive. And thanks ❤️
Donna says
You definitely are a model for me and I definitely am chummy with blog envy! But you know what? This month was big for me and I panicked at the beginning of the month, before saying those magic words you used : F*** it! I have an entire night of blogging ahead, I wish my graphics were better, I wish I knew how to captivate people and blablabla, but I have enjoyed every day of March with less pressure because I did not give that envy any of my time. Oh I’m sure it’ll come back (esp if you keep coming up with those wonderful posts xD) but it’s okay as long as it spurs me to do better, and not to become bitter <3
Marie says
I’m SO happy to hear it my Sweechie! <3 And YES we should not give this envy any time to take over our thoughts and our brains at all, that way we'll be happy ahah 🙂 <3 Thank you, and definitely, we need to keep in mind to become better and not bitter <3 <3
Amanda @Cover2CoverMom says
Ugh blogging envy is so real! To combat it, I try to tell myself that there is ALWAYS going to be someone (most likely many people) who is/are better than you. Instead of focusing on beating myself up over it, I try and use it as motivation. In all honesty, I know how much time and effort it takes to maintain a blog, so I can’t really be jealous of another blogger’s success… I KNOW they have to be working hard for it.
Marie says
Yes you’re definitely right about this. I try to see this as motivation as well, to make me work harder and better to make the blog something I am proud of before anything else and not to look too much at others and compare myself to them. It’s a constant process 🙂 Thank you so much Amanda! <3
lostartofreadingblog says
Great discussion !!
Marie says
Thank you so much! 🙂
Syc @ The Lit Mermaid says
My old self would say ‘#RELATABLE’. But Idk, right now I feel like I’m in a better place. I just try to make the most of what I have or what I can afford – like a free domain lol. I think it helped that I took a breather from blogging because it helped me realize a lot of things.
Ps. I love Mindy and that .gif. XD
Marie says
I’m so happy to hear that. I think taking a breather at times definitely helps feeling better about this whole blogging envy, and loving blogging more once you come back 🙂 Thank you! 🙂
Megan @ bookslayerReads says
This is a fantastic post, Marie! I think all of us feel that blogging envy you’re talking about. I know I do. When I see the bloggers with the awesome content, design, and graphics… the amazing reviews, etc… I feel envy. Those are the bloggers I aspire to be like one day. But as far as having a way to make it go away… I’m clueless. The only thing I know to do is keep on truckin’. Continue to try to be the best that I can be, and have fun doing it! PS: I love, love, love your blog (and I’m jealous of it)… I have always adored your blog. ? You’re awesome!
Marie says
Thank you so much, Megan! Yes that’s exactly what I am trying to do, the best I can and have fun before everything else 🙂 And thank you, you’re the sweetest <3
Lauren @ Wonderless Reviews says
I’m envious of your constant amazing posts, Marie ? Haha, but no seriously, this is a wonderful post like always 😀 I especially struggle with original content so I always get envious of people who are able to produce it so consistently. It’s just like WHY CAN’T THAT BE ME MY BLOG SUCKS, haha. I feel like I’m managing it A LOT better now than I was a few months ago though and I’m definitely trying to be easier on myself.
Marie says
OH Lauren, you’re way too sweet, thank you <3 <3
Yeah we definitely need to be easier on ourselves, it's so easy to feel the pressure but we are all doing the best we can and having fun, it's al that matters 🙂
Analee @ Book Snacks says
AHHH MARIE, THIS POST. So on point and so fabulous, I love it. It’s actually something I had thought about a lot as well, but never got around to writing about, you worded everything perfectly ahah. I totally deal with blogging envy. It’s not something I always like, really, because it just makes me extra critical of my own blog and disappointed more, maybe?? But it’s kind of inevitable, really… seeing all those bloggers with great posts, great design, lots of success etc. it can be hard not to feel jealous? I think we should just accept that, because it doesn’t have to be a bad thing unless we make it to be! <3 Side note, your blog is totally enviable, Marie!! Love it so much. ,3 <3
Marie says
Aww Analee thank you so, so much <3 <3 I feel so critical of myself just as well and it annoys me so much but I can't help it somehow. Yes, exactly, I guess we just need to look at this in a positive way <3
xtine says
Reading this post was such a breath of fresh air. I’m relatively new to blogging, specifically new to book blogging. I love that I’ve found so many amazing bloggers that I look up to, but I’m often overwhelmed by feeling like I’m somehow doing it wrong because I’m not as successful or popular. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in these feelings. I also struggle with confidence issues, and I have for my whole life felt pretty much unlikeable or uninteresting, so blogging envy comes kind of automatically for me.
I just took a week off from the blogosphere/twitter/etc. to assess my relationship to the community, what I’m getting out of it, what my expectations are and whether or not I’m being realistic or I’m in it for healthy reasons. I think ultimately the only thing to do with blogging envy is to just let it happen, and try to focus on positive aspects, like the ability to connect with other people around the world and the importance of self-expression.
Marie says
Yes that’s exactly it. I try and take some time off the blogosphere even if it’s just for an evening (I’m used to come to this little corner of the internet every evening) or for a day and it does wonders for the mind. It really helps re-focus and, well, feel a bit better about it overall and remind ourselves of why we are doing this and how we are being ourselves so that’s good enough. At least I want to believe that. 🙂
I hope you’re having lots of fun blogging! And thank yo so much for you sweet comment <3
Lashaan and Trang (Bookidote) says
This is so relative, but I think everyone knows some degree of blogger envy here and there! I mean… look at this post and how much interaction/reaction you got for it! Pretty sure I’m feeling some envy in me here. 😀 😀 😀 I totally understand how some people get things/do things that you wish you could have/do, but YOU too get things/do things that THEY don’t have/do! I hope you’ll always look at it retrospectively and see how much your own blog has evolved over time and how alive it is today. So many people don’t have what you have and you should be happy to be happy for everything you have, Marie!! 😀 Keep on being awesome, blog hopping and interacting with those you want to support! 😉
– Lashaan
Marie says
Aww you’re so sweet Lashaan haha <3
That's exacly what I am trying to do, and not to focus too much on what others do, but on what I can do – after all, I try and blog for myself ahah 🙂 Thank you so much <3 <3 <3
Jane the Raincity Librarian says
OH YES – I feel blogging envy, especially when I see a post like this with 100+ comments!! 😉
Cait @ Paper Fury says
Eeep, I really relate to this too. I’m constantly wondering if my content is good enough, if it’s okay that I don’t do giveaways or revamp my design or speak up about controversial matters (I don’t even say ANYTHING when topics like that come up because I don’t feel like I have anything intelligent to add). ? And then I ask myself if I’m always repeating myself or am I boring or am I reviewing the right kind of books?!? WHY DO WE BLOGGERS HAVE TO HAVE SO MANY CRISES, MARIE??? BECAUSE I 500% HAVE THEM TOO. So just know you’re not alone! I don’t think any of we bloggers really think we have it right, though? Like I’m sure all of us are insecure about what we’re doing at times. (And *whispers* I think your blog is fantastic and you write amazingly!! ?)
Marie says
But you are the source of everyone’s envy, Cait ahah, YOU ARE FABULOUS and definitely a role model <3
I'm so glad you mentioned controversial matters – I feel the same way about this, I feel like I don't have anything good, intelligent or that matters to add to the discussion :/
I guess the blogging life is bound to be a bit crazy and filled with insecurities and blogging crisis hahaha but, erm…we love it so…I guess it's all okay 😀
You're so sweet Cait, thank you <3 <3 <3
shanicebvrbin says
Likewise, I do relate as well, especially because I have just started blogging. And you’re right, I agree with you that maybe it’s not as bad after all, because in the end we can turn envy around and change it to motivation so we can be better bloggers. 🙂
Afterall, it’s about us bloggers having fun and sharing our thoughts. 🙂
Marie says
Ohhh well welcome to blogging, I hope you will have tons of fun 🙂 Even if the envy is there at times, we all need to remind ourselves that this is a no competition zone, at least when it comes to book blogging, and that we should just be having fun 🙂
thetimidmouse says
This is so true. You get envious sometimes of other bloggers no matter how long they have been around. I’m not sure if this will ever change. It’s human nature.
Jessica | itsamomslife.blog
Marie says
Yes, you’re right. It really is human nature, we just have to learn to be positive about it and not bitter 🙂
Thank you so much, Jessica! 🙂
Evelina @ AvalinahsBooks says
Dang, I feel blogging envy all the time. Wish I knew how to get rid of it! It’s always like my stats are too small, or there’s this totally new bloggers that has three times more followers in a time span that’s three times shorter than I’ve even been blogging… And it makes me feel like I’m just not good enough and that maybe I should stop blogging altogether, if they’re so good at it, you know? Maybe the blogosphere doesn’t even need me? But somehow that goes away. Also? I’m intimately familiar with being jealous of physical books mailed to my American and UK buddies. I am also international… So that sucks. But on the other hand? Where would I put them? 😀 I get Kindle ARCs… aren’t they just as good? Still… I absolutely get that feeling.
Marie says
Oh thank you, Evelina, really, THANK YOU, I’m so glad you’re sharing my feelings here – I feel less alone ? I constantly worry too much and have this envy, it comes and goes, but…it always comes back and I wish I knew how to get rid of it as well. Maybe we should hit each other up when it happens, so we can, like…scream at each other to stop being like that ??
Same here. I really wish I could get all the ARCs, but… I don’t have place to put them. I guess there is something about holding a book that’s not yet released. Probably one of the best feelings ever <3
Thank you so much for your sweet comment <3 <3
Evelina @ AvalinahsBooks says
You are right, maybe we need to make a support group 😀 I think it’s related to personality though, because it’s probably a life thing rather than just a blog thing 🙂 still! I wish we felt better about ourselves ❤ but seriously. You have 100+ comments on this post! You should never feel this way 😀
Marie says
Yes, you’re right, maybe it is. I know that these feelings are taking up my life once in a while as well… wish I knew how to stop them haha.
Aww, thank you, you’re way too sweet <3 <3 Thank you for your sweet words, they mean so much <3
Isabella: follow me @lives_in_ya_books says
I relate to this so much! As a newer blogger, I can’t help but have regrets like, I should’ve started in seventh grade like some bloggers and then I would’ve had more ARCS.
Marie says
I’m happy you could relate to this, Isabella 🙂 this is a very random and very known sentence, but “it doesn’t matter when you start as long as you don’t stop” 🙂 so don’t give up and do what you love. that’s all that matters 🙂